I thought I was making progress, but last night I wept. Grief kept soaking my pillow. The tears flowed until I drifted off to sleep. I wish I could get rid of this ache. I wish I could forget him entirely. Poppa, please hear my whispers, hear my heart's desire. Come quickly to answer. Each tear stands for each moment I thought of him. Each tear represents countless prayers. How does one pray for another who has injured and slain your heart? I don't comprehend it, but my heart is led by Poppa. So, injured or not, it prays. Cleanse away the pain, Oh Lord. Let me see a brighter day again. Poppa, erase him from my mind so I can move on -he's gone. He doesn't love me...he never did. I need to go forward. He's gone. Set me free, Poppa. Cut Jacob's name off my heart, it's already bloody and shredded. ...Rachel misses her Jacob. Why? why Leah?
Rain fall down on me...Grace like rain please fall down on me...wash this pain away. At least in the rain nobody can see these tears.
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