There Is Always Hope

Do you feel you're losing hope ? Are you tired ? Do you feel you are hanging by a thread and it's about to break ? Do you feel like you have been calling out and you hear nothing but silence to your hearts cries ? God's word is true and everlasting. His word is faithful and true. Cling to the hope that you know. Faith, hope and love are all inertwined together- They are your rope to hang unto in times of struggles and pain. Jesus is on the other end of that rope you're holding unto. He is your anchor and He won't let go of you. When you are running low on hope- Cry out to Jesus. He will give you more hope. Just ask Him for it. Psalm 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Psalm 43:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 71:5 For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth. Psalm 119:114 You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Job 11:18 You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. There's always HOPE, my friend.

How To Make A Woman Happy

To the boyfriends, husbands and the someday wanna be's...Here's a few tips :) What makes a woman happy in a relationship ? And what keeps her happy ? NOTICE US: Look her in the eyes. Have you seen it light up or sparkle when she sees you? You are the one who has the ability to turn the twinkle lights in her eyes. If she's delighted, If she's feeling loved. If she adores you- It will show. Notice her thought and input on her outfit. Notice her perfume and mention it. Notice if she's done her hair differently. Always comment and say, "I notice your hair looks different today- I love seeing it up it shows your beautiful neck." Notice her shoes. If you notice anything good about us it makes us feel good. But you have to tell us. It doesn't do anything if you don't say anything. Nothing's worse than getting ready for an evening out- And a man says nothing. Always take notice. The only real way to take notice is to look at us and study us. TREAT US LIKE A LADY ALWAYS: Be an old fashioned guy and treat us like a lady. Not just once in a while, but all the time. Open the doors when entering and leaving any place. Open the car doors for us. Reach for our hand to help us out of a vehicle. Some guys even buckle the seat belt for us- That's sweet and romantic. Pull out the chair for us at the table in public places. Pay for the date when going out. Bring flowers just for the sake of it's a beautiful day. Send flowers to our work place- this makes us feel valuable. Special note: If your woman is not use to being treated this way- Be patient. She may make a silly remark if you haven't done this for her before, but just keep doing these things anyways. We will appreciate it. Don't use foul language in front of us. Don't ever call us a "Bitch" when angry. BE PROUD OF US: What I mean by that is if you introduce us to someone- Say, "This is my beautiful wife". Compliment what a wonderful wife, mother and person she is. We need to know this often. We feel valued if you are proud of us. Hold our hands in public. When were walking to the car or shopping. Give our hand a little squeeze and smile at us- for no other reason but to just say "Hey, I'm on your side and I love you". Touch the small of our back and guide us gently when were walking into a room of people- WE LOVE THIS. SHOW US YOUR STRENGTH TO US: Be a man and show your strength to us by carrying our packages, groceries, etc. Reach up high for us and get something down for us. Change the light bulbs, take out the trash, change the litter box- Do the unpleasant, smelly chores- Because were a lady. A lady should not have to do those things. Yes, it's old fashioned, but it makes us feel good. Knowing you like being a man for us. Take "hot" things out of the oven so we don't get burned. Again- If you haven't done these things for your woman before- It may take her a while getting use to you doing it. AFFECTION: Give us physical affection without voicing a sexual invitation. Leave it up to her if she wants it to lead to the bedroom. Touch our face, trace our features with your fingers, kiss the top of our head and pull us into your chest. This is endearing and it FEELS GOOD. We feel loved, safe, and secure. Rub our aching legs or feet. Kiss the back of our neck while were doing dishes or cooking. Give us hugs when we look stressed or down. If you do these things- Most likely we will feel loved and often may want to make love to you because we feel cherished and adored. MAKE US FEEL NUMBER ONE: If you spend alot of time on your boat, going golf with the buddies, fishing, watching tv sports all the time- We will feel jealous for your attention. WE dont mind if you do have your man cave time and your stress relieving activities- But if there ever is a day when were sick or we need extra help with the kids or it's a emotional day- Please always be willing to cancel that engagement and choose to be there for us. This gives you huge brownie points :) Also because we know that no matter what were more important than anyone or any thing. This makes us feel secure and valued. when we feel secure we have no problem you going out with the guys or you spending time in your man cave. SEX: Make us feel like your making love to us. Take the time to caress us, explore us, enjoy us. Try to pleasure us before yourself and you will be a happy man in the bedroom. Because the more you appreciate our curves, tell us were sexy and beautiful. It makes us more confident. If were more confident about our bodies- we will be more open and delicious for you. Also remember sex starts outside of the bedroom for us women. This means- You have flirted with us, smiled at us, spoken to us kindly during the day. Help us with the kids or chores- This gives us more energy for you. REMEMBER THE DETAILS: These are important to us. I know it's hard to remember- But take special notes when your woman says she wants something or she admired something in a store. Because then you can surprise us. Nothings more admirable when a man remembers a pair of shoes or perfume his woman wanted and he later brings it home to her. She will feel special and she will feel that you listen to her ! COMMUNICATING WITH US: When talking and listening to her- Always, Always, Always look her in the eyes and face. This makes us feel heard. If your wise you will repeat back what we said just so we know you understand. Example: " What your saying is that you would like for us to go on vacation at the coast and stay at the the hotel we stayed at last ?" The tones you use in your voice when speaking to us. I CANNOT EXPRESS THIS ENOUGH- HARSH TONES HURT US. Don't shout at us when your angry either. Show us respect like you would your boss or aquaintenance. If you are harsh-Then apologize quickly and say it was unacceptable. Work on this area if it's a problem for you. WORDS: Speak sweet "Everythings" to us... Call us sugar, honey, babydoll, babe, georgeous or whatever- But call us sweet things. And tells us were beautiful often !!! We don't get tired of hearing it. Let us know were your whole world. Whisper love words in our ears...Write little love notes or buy love cards. PLAN DATES FOR US...Surprise us. Just take care of the details and hire the baby sitter. Be clever and creative. If your not- then google ideas on the internet. Want a really awesome idea? Buy her a dress, necklace and shoes- Then surprise her with a note saying "I saw this and it reminded me of you and I want to take you out tonight with you wearing this. " The lady at Macy's will think your sweet- YOUR WIFE WILL THINK YOUR AMAZING !!! BE A MAN OF GOD: Pray for us and with us. Lead us to God when there's a problem. Make it a priority to have us go to church together regularly. Live and lead our family in a lifestyle of worship, prayer and walking in God's love daily to us. Nothings more SEXY than a man who is a worshiper and a man of prayer and integrity !!!!!! WE LOVE IT. ALWAYS PURSUE US. THE MAGIC IS YOU NEVER STOP CHASING US. THATS WHAT KEEPS THE ROMANCE AND PASSION ALIVE

You Are His Princess

I know abandonment from a father or a husband causes great turmoil in one's self-esteem. You just want to feel safe. You want and desire and even crave affection. It's like a endless hole that just won't go away in your heart. This ache doesn't go away until you fully understand and accept that this hurt and abandonment was NOT your fault. And it isn't something you did wrong. You are LOVEABLE. It was someone else who just didn't choose to value you, because of their own selfishness, fears, or issues. There's nothing you could do differently to get them to love you. But please know- You are loved beyond measure. You are passionately pursued by your HEAVENLY FATHER. HE IS PROUD OF YOU AND HE IS NOT DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE COULD CAUSE HIM TO STOP LOVING HIS PRINCESS..HIS DAUGHTER....HIS PRIDE AND JOY. You are Daddy's little PRINCESS- ALWAYS ♥ Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Stormy Weather

Jeremiah 1:8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD. Sometimes we get caught in a "storm" of life in which we had no warning. We get drenched in the drama of the day. Sometimes we react in a stupid way. Sometimes it feels so fierce and we wonder if we can recover. It's left our minds confused, our physical bodies tired and drained and our hearts disheartened. But Jesus said, "Do not fear for I am with you". The Lord reaches out His mighty hand and pulls us to safety. I'm praying your storms are swiftly over and that you have a calm knowing in your heart that you are loved and you are saved. May Poppa GOD hold you today.

Coconuts

I have been having a strange, weird fetish. Being engulfed in a crazy and insatiable, feticious need for coconuts. I have been craving coconut foods, desserts, drinks (They have coconut tea ), perfumes, lotions, shampoo, the smell, the scent, the taste and even just looking at the them. My mind wondered if my body was needing a certain nutrient from it. I drank cocnut water, ate coconut cake, bought coconut shampoo and lotions and potions. What the heck ? But let me tell you what Poppa God did thru all this- Reminded me that He was going to split open wide the hearts of men whose been hardened like a coconut shell. Those husbands and wives who have let their heart get hard. To reveal what is sweet and tender to the things of God and a intimate love and passion for their spouses again. YES, God uses anything...Even coconuts to get our attention. To the one whose wanted to give up- His word says anything is possible. He also can soften a heart. But that heart has to be seeking and searching Him out. There is hope. To reveal what is sweet and tender to the things of God and a intimate love and passion for their spouses again. " With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling, and that by His power He may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Thessalonians 1:11 & 12 (Notice the word FRUITATION) Praise God

I Love You Like Crazy

I love you....So much it hurts and aches, because you don't choose to love me back. I don't understand this kind of love. To love someone who has hurt me over and over again, but yet I still do. Am I just in love with needing your love and approval ? I've questioned myself deeply and the answer is- No. I have learned how to live without your love every time you gave up on us and our dreams. Each time you put thick bricks of isolation around you and wouldn't let me in to your heart or emotions- I learned how to go without. The nights of silently crying and feeling so alone even though you were laying next to me. This kind of love doesn't make since- To love with no return of affection, words of endearment or looks of devotion in your eyes. The only thing I can even grasp and somehow can relate is the love that Jesus had when He died on the cross. His selfless act for all those who rejected Him, hurt Him, betrayed Him. He layed Himself down, because of LOVE. Because of His love for us. I can still remember the night God deposited love in my heart for you. I had no idea the journey, the tears, the pain I would endure having this love for you. I know that Love is a choice, but I also know there are many levels of love. It can go deep- past the superficial "I need' and "I wants".... Just as 1 Corinthians 13 states: " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. True love doesn't have a condition- I will only love you " if"- There is no "if" in love-Only "I will". Jesus didn't choose to die for us if we would clean ourselves up or love Him back- He loved us first knowing we may not love back. This is huge and honestly- How many couples love like that ? How many are committed to loving even if the other is not doing their part. I don't condone physical abuse or living in danger for your life or your childrens- I don't mean that we should be a doormat for being beaten,cheated over and over by sexual affairs- But I do believe in loving at all times. Crazy !!!!! And not the norm- I suppose. And oh, to be loved like this ! By the ones we love. Wedding vows use to mean something- Laying down ouselves for the other- In good times and in bad- in sickness an in health- for richer or poorer- Forsaking all others until our last breath. Husbands come back and choose to do what is right. Wives too. Walk in love even when you don't feel it. Maybe she's waiting...Waiting for you to be the man and step up to the plate and do what is right. A woman needs to be loved by your actions, not just your words. Maybe she's waiting for you to show her you would be willing to fight for her and the promises you made. You don't have to be perfect, but just be honest and love her with your whole heart. We don't want to share your heart with another- We want to be the only one. A woman who truly loves a man will love him inspite of his weaknesses and failures. She will get on her knees when she sees you going under and will support you spiritully when you are discouraged. A good woman was meant to be your helpmate and strength beside you-That's how Poppa God intended it. She sees your faults, but encourages you and believes for your future even when you can't yourself. She will forgive you for being a fool, if your "man" enough to admit that you were wrong and you follow thru with making it right. As the good book says "Blessed is the man who finds a good wife. He has found favor with the Lord" A good man will acknowledge he needs her in his life.

Beauty From Brokeness

We are almost half way thru the 90 Day Challenge and still women are joining. Praise God for His Awesomeness in our lives. My week was very meaningful, fitful, moving, and even beautiful. Alot happened this week for me and I believe for you as well. Thank you so much for your prayers for my healing. Some even fasted for me- God bless you richly for that. There's a not enough words to express my love and gratitude for you. I am on the way of being healed....He is healing me- It's a beautiful process. I know He is making a way even when there seemed to be no way. One thing pivitul for me- a huge eye opener to my heart- I was asked, "Have you forgiven yourself?" wow. That stopped me in my tracks. "Why, No- I haven't." I said a prayer and got healed by letting go of my mistakes and unwise decisions I have made in the past. Especially in the area of choosing to love men who won't love me back. My Dad wasn't around much growing up. Some of you know my story of being abandoned by two husbands- The last one broke my heart the most, because I can honestly say l love him the mostest. Heartache has been a painful journey, but God has been using it for good and has made me more beautiful because of it. I look at people differently- I know how to love uncondiotionally. To see others thru Christ's eyes. I learned that a heart wanting to be loved is what we all crave. I learned you can't make someone love you- You can't make them stay. You can't make them keep their word or make them change. They have to choose themselves if they are going to love, stay, forgive or walk away. I overcame something this week- I stopped chasing after affection. I gave up on man and realized it's pointless to try to get love from someone. One thing about passionately pursuing Jesus is that He pursues us too. He doesn't reject our love and He doesn't abandon. He loves us regardless. I noticed alot of physical changes- My skin is just as smooth as butter- super silky !!! I tried on old clothes and they fit better and look better. I have to say I think my favorite body part right now would be my butt :) It's looking cute. I'm almost laughing at that, but it's true. My skin is golden from the tanning I have done- This is my reward for working out at the gym. I started taking ROYAL JELLY 2-3 times a day. It has been giving me a boost. You are what you eat- so I must be royalty :). My hunger has changed- and I don't just mean food. I'm into the word more. I'm hungrier for spending time in His presence. Good changes...You can never get too much of GOD. :) I have been pushing my workouts more. It's good

Being Pushed

Wow, Is what I can say- And thank you, God that your bringing changes is my life. I sometimes don't like to say the word "surrender", because it seems scary and like there's the unknown that follows. MY heart has been crying out for help in the areas that I need changing. There's plenty of need for change. Poppa God is pushing me out of my comfort zone. Things He has placed on my heart years ago- Callings and giftings He has blessed me with. For so long I have been on a invisible shelf collecting the dust of days going by. I'm sure part of it was just the process of growth and refining my character. But now that I have been stepping out into the water- I feel myself being dusted off by God and underneath the grime of dissapointments, rejections by others, and insecurities- I find myself being made shiny and new. Even pretty. Something I felt I was lost, but realizing it was there all along. I just couldn't see it. I have gotten my music back...My singing in the Holy Spirit back- Prophetic words and songs back. And I feel Him pushing me to start using those gifts and talents again. Scary- But freakin cool. I just have to remember He is with me. He is with me in all I do for Him. I'm not alone in this. Your not alone in this...In what God has for you to do. God is with you as you step out in faith and be vulnerable to others. I see prayers being answered in my ministry of fighting for marriages and families. I see prayers being answered in my personal life as well- things I just about gave up on are coming forth. Wow, God ! Sometimes, I think we feel stuck in a dark, dank dungeon and we can't ever get out- But Sometimes I think Poppa God has removed the shackles off of us, but we don't notice- Were like elephants who even though they are no longer chained and staked to the ground won't go past the invisible line, because off their memory of being restrained. I must go past the length of chain I once was restrained by. And I hear Poppa God say, "Your free. You are truly free. MOVE"

I am hoping and expecting the rest of the resources and tools I need to move forward into what God has called me to. A music team that flows in the spirit to prophetic songs. It will happen. Courage and bravery to speak to the ladies at the womens retreat coming up. My healing for my body. I'm praying and fasting this week. I gotta get away and hide in the cleft of the rock. I wanna see His face more...That's the thing with His presence- It gets addicting. And there's nothing else that satisfies, but His LOVE. I pray all of you who are in your journey of transformation- You are "FREE" and You must walk past that barrier line that you have had for so long. There's so much more for you than you could even comprehend. "You are free Oh, Daughter ! Free !" Love ya gals and I'm expecting to hear from you about what God is doing in your hearts, lives and bodies. Next level !!!

Changes: Week 3 (90 Day Challenge of Transformation)

I won't lie this third week was hard...It took me all week to even write it- forgive me...

But I did see changes in my character and also my body. I went and tried clothes on and was gleefully delighted as they glided on easily. I fought frustration and physical pain, because the weather hasn't been favorable to me. Also my ministry was attacked. Blahh is how I felt some of this past week- But I came thru the tests with grace and I feel there is growth, Praise God ! I have learned that you just have to keep moving forward even if it feels like there isn't results. A couple of days does matter when eating healthy and exercising. I love my friends in the challenge and family who have supported me. This whole experience has been VERY challenging. I am not one who usually is naturally disciplined so for me to lead a group of ladies on this 90 day expedition has been humbling and has caused me to learn to follow thru. Some of the gals didn't like a picture I posted of a woman who was smiling with her flaws showing. I felt it was healing- So I just pushed aside my desire to people please everyone and did what I felt was right. Wow, It was huge for me !!!! I will not always please man- But I must strive to Please GOD. That is what matters and He smiles and approves, not because I deserve it, but because He is LOVE and GRACE. I am getting thinner and my skin is looking fabulous. But inside I'm getting stronger too. I am His daughter and He loves me. Knowing this and walking in this daily is my desire. A Queen knows her place and her authority- As she submits to Christ her KING. We are truly becoming a queen after the heart of our King.

Poppa's Baby Girl By The Sea

I love the ocean...It's always a special place to me. I feel so little standing next to the massive sea. I sense God's power and beauty as I hear the waves crashing and lapping over my feet. The smell of the air and how clean it makes me feel. Truly God is everywhere, but I feel close to Him at the beach. Sometimes I go here to find emotional healing and to clear my head of all the muck. There's no distractions just His beauty and power. The aches of my heart have been many. Sometimes it feels this season will never end. I get strong some days and I think I'm finally better and then a memory or a song will send me crashing down like a sneaker wave. Great is His faithfulness ! When I am overcome with grief- Yet My Lord is with me and I make it thru another piece of my broken vessel. There is purpose and a tangible plan that our Maker has when He is taking the pieces of our heart and fusing them back together. There is beauty even when there has been ashes. His love has so many levels- So deep, so vast, so wide, so mysteriously amazing. Because I can never fully comprehend His love...It's endless Just like the view of a horizon at sea...You see no end to it. Sometimes I would feel so unworthy, so unloveable, so unvaluable. But they are lies and just because I feel that way for the moment don't mean it's truth. What is constant? What is true? His love and mercy- Grace and Justice are as sure as the oceantide coming in. I don't always see the end of this process. As I was walking on the wet sand and water was swirly around my ankles..I began to sink and I whispered, "I feel afraid, Poppa." He said to me so quietly, but so clearly: "You will not sink as long as you keep moving". I remember that day like a pernament fixture burned on my heart- Keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. I wrote all my cares and concerns of my heart on rocks with a sharpie pen and I prayed over each one of them and then I threw them into the sea. "Here, Poppa God. You can have it all."

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer.

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Living a lifestyle of prayer is important. It makes your spiritual walk and personal relationship with God grow closer. Prayer to me is just like talking to an individual. I say anything thats on my mind and heart to Poppa God (my personal name I call God). He knows our thoughts even before we speak them. He enjoys spending time with us.

A fast is giving up something that is valuable to you- Many fast food. Some it may be the internet or other media. Anything that would be distracting or takes up alot of your time-Time that you could be using instead to be fellowshiping with the Lord. PLEASE NOTE: If you have medical conditions such as diabetes that would require you to have a certain diet- I HIGHLY recommend talking to your physician first before giving up food. You can always just fast sweets and chocolate or anything pleasurable. I believe God honors the heart more than the sacrifice. Just do what you can to spend more time with God.

As a mothers, wives, workers, ministers- etc. We know how busy life is. You may not have hours in a day to just be on your knees praying. But you DO HAVE minutes- And praying in intervals thru the day can easily add up to hrs. Five minutes of prayer is better than none. JUST BE LOOKING FOR OPPORTUNITIES AND BE PRAYER MINDED. Here's a few exampleas and ideas that I have found that work for incorporating more prayer and Bible reading time:
■In the shower or while taking a bath.
■while putting your makeup on or doing your hair (I talk to God alot while doing this)
■Restroom breaks
■In the car while driving somewhere. even if you have small children in the car you can do this- praying out loud in front of your kids is good for them. They listen and they learn from you.
■In leu of a tv program. Turn the tv off- how many hours do you normally watch programs? Use it for prayer instead.
■In the waiting room of doctors or school appointments
■Stopped at a red light or waiting for traffic to clear
■While working out at the gym or on a walk. (I talk to God alot during those times)
■While cooking dinner...(The best tacos are made while worshipping God or praying)
■In leu of a nap- (Trust me- You will be more refreshed and energized by spending time with GOD than you would with sleeping)
■while cleaning or vaccuming. (I spent lots of times talking to God while doing this)
■Lunch breaks at work or school

These are just a few ideas...But See ? There are more than enough opportunities for us to spend time in prayer with GOD.

A few tips I have found helpful when fasting:
■Don't try to give up your normal cup of coffee int he morning. You don't want to start your fast with a headache. If you decide that you want to give up caffeine..do it gradually. Such as one cup the first day- a half cup the next day...until you have slowly eliminated it from your intake.
■Drink plenty of water and keep hydrated.
■If your giving up meat- You can eat mushrooms,beans,eggplant, etc. These are good alternative and you still will get some protein inyour body.
■Nutritional shakes that contain vitamins are helpful if you are skipping meals.
■Keep away from the media..TV, Internet, Radio, etc. Whatever keeps your focus away form meditiating on the Word.
■Keep your house an atmosphere of worship- Play worship music, light candles- This makes it inviting for peace and quiet.
■Include your children in prayer and Bible reading. This brings everyone together.
■Be searching, reflective, and repentant. Ask God what areas of your heart and life that need to be dealt with.This leaves room in your heart for MORE OF GOD.
■Meditate on the WORD... Place scriptures on your wall, mirrors, places where you will see it often.
■Keep your Bible handy. And a paper and pen in case something speaks to you- You can write it down.

These are just a few ideas to get you started. Remember to forgive yourself if you blow it one day. This isn't suppose to be legalistic and full of condemnation on yourself. IT"S THE HEART THAT MATTERS MORE THAN THE SACRIFICE.

~Jenny williams

Good bye, Lie

Today is New Year's Eve.....And so it's fitting to write this at this moment. A few days before Christmas I learned the harsh and painful truth that what I was in love with was a pure lie. HIs touch, his glance into my eyes, his empty promise to stay true to me forever- Was a lie. I think of our wedding day and the pain seems too surreal- Just knowing he never intended or meant the words of "I Do". It was just part of the sick, wisted cruel game he played. I was the fool who so lovingly and willingly played-and now know I was never the prize. I would never win. Just get the losses. What makes a man use women like that? I was his pawn- his trade in until the next woman came along. Our wedding night,him playing guitar..him telling me I was beautiful in the soaking pools- his arms cradling me int he water...All a lie.
I never imagined that I would marry a con man. That isn't exactly a girls dream to one day marry someone who would break her heart and cause destruction at every turn. A man like that has no conscience. A man like that has no thought for anyone or anything, but himself. And heaven help him. Heaven open up his eyes to see the darkness of who he is and what he does to vulnerable women who just desire to be loved and cherished like all women do. The tears..the thousands of tears on my pillow case and my knees that were sore from kneeling in prayer for a marriage that wasn't even exisitng. Heaven deal with him. I just hope he doesn't hurt another one. I almost gave up my life, because of him. Carrie Underwood has it right when she sings the song- Cowboy Casanova:

You better take it from me,
That boy is like a disease
You’re running, you’re tired, you’re trying to hide
And you’re wondering why you can’t get free
He’s like a curse he’s like a drug.
You get addicted to his love.
You wanna get out but he’s holding you down ‘Cause you can’t live without one more touch.

Chorus:
He’s a good time cowboy Casanova; leaning up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water but he’s candy coated misery
He’s the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes and he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don’t wanna fight
You better run for your life

I see that look on your face, you ain’t hearing what I say
So I’ll say it again ‘cause I’ve been where you’ve been and I know how it ends, you can’t get away
Don’t even look in his eyes, he’ll tell you nothing but lies
And you wanna believe, but you won’t be deceived if you listen to me and take my advice

Chorus:
He’s a good time cowboy Casanova; leaning up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water but he’s candy coated misery
He’s the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes and he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don’t wanna fight
You better run for your life

Run, run, run away don’t let him mess with your mind
He’ll tell you anything you wanna hear
He’ll break your heart it’s just a matter of time
But just remember-

Chorus:
He’s a good time cowboy Casanova leaning up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water but he’s candy coated misery
He’s the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes and he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don’t wanna fight
You better run for your life

Oh you better run for your life,
Oh you better run for your life.


Thank, God I found out the truth. Here I was a "free" bird and never even knew it. May I fly high and soar above all this..the cage that kept me a prisoner. I am free ! And now everytime I start to feel like I miss him- I just remind myself it wasn't real. His love- His words, his touch, his conversations...They were all lies. You can't really love a lie now can you?