Liquid Golden Rain

Liquid Gold, Rain Down:

Our tears have been many, falling in a our secret place where we meet with You. They soaked upon our pillows, they fell at our feet. They fell when we could barely whisper Your name, Jesus. They fell silent in the shower as the water rushed over the weariness of the day. They fell down when we gave up in surrender, but these tears were not forgotten to your memory, Sovereign Lord, for Your memory is eternal, and You have captured them in Your bottles -each and every single one. They are like jewels. They have been kept in your sacred pavilion, and just as the melted snows of the mountains fall into the rivers, lakes and streams and evaporate into the heavens, returning as rains to nourish the flowers and the fields, so are these tears we've cried. They fall down as liquid golden rain, Your sweet presence, Your double Grace, Your intoxicating perfumed oil, Your golden iridescent lights glimmer off your daughters' faces and, oh, do we rejoice and dance in the rain: the former and the latter rains of Your glory and honor and strength! Our hands are lifted to You. Our faces glow in the rain of Your favor. Your golden rain soaks us until nothing but You is seen or heard. We twirl and dance and leap in liquid light of Your freedom, for Your promise has been that mourning will last for the night, but your joy comes in the morning. Your liquid rain washes away the traces of yesterday's pains and disappointments. Heaven's rains turn into floods of His living waters. We swim in this golden sea. We are drowned and captivated and swept away of His love.

No Matter What

I woke up this morning feeling like the weather outside was trying to overtake me. I feel like I'm stuck in a misty fog and I can't see where I am going, and even worse, what I am doing -but I refuse to give up. These emotions of fear and unbelief, despair and confusion, just seem to be swirling about me. I feel like I'm blindfolded. But I say,"NO!" Even if I have to stand in this fog blindly, I refuse to budge in my stand for what I am believing in. My house, for D to get better, be healed and set free, and happy marriage. I may feel like a fool. I may seem stupid in the eyes of the enemy, but who cares anyway?
Psalm 23:5 says, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." I don't care. I say to my future, "My Lord is faithful. I declare and decree His faithfulness and goodness. Blessed be the name of the LORD!"
Psalm 33:4 "For the word of the LORD is right and true; He is faithful in all He does."

I refuse to cave in to the taunting of the enemy's lies that say, "You should give up, because it will never happen." I refuse to bow down to the fear and unbelief that keep trying to interfere with what Poppa God is doing. I may not see with my earthly eyes, physical touch,or emotional feelings that anything is changing, but His word is faithful and true. Deuteronomy 7:9 "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commandments."

I speak to the mountain in front of me, and praise my Father God even if I don't see it moving.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. I WILL BELIEVE. I WILL KEEP TRUSTING. Even if I feel blinded, cold, tired and afraid, I will trust in you, Lord. Even if nothing seems to be getting better, even if my circumstances seem so stubborn. Even if others around me don't have my faith or vision, it's okay. This is not their fight, It's mine. Mine and the Lord's. I will yet praise Him, my God and my King.
I STAND ON THE RUBBLE OF MY ENEMIES. I STAND ON THE PILE OF LIES, FEARS, TEARS, AND BROKENNESS. I stand in my faith, and I am strong and mighty in the Power of my Lord. Exodus 14:14 "The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”

One day this fog will lift, and I KNOW I will feel HIS grace and light shining upon my face again. There is a reward for those who diligently seek Him. There is a reward for those who are faithful. The sun is going to come up...I know it. His SON is shining on the horizon of these temporary circumstances. JOY is coming again. Until then I will keep on believing and keep on clinging to His Name and Word.

His Cup and His Bread

I was on my knees at the foot of my bed talking to Poppa GOD about what I could do concerning my marriage and the situation.

"Is there anything I can do? Please show me, Lord." The answer came so quickly, so simply. I knew beyond a doubt that I recieved a direct answer. "Have Communion". I heard Him say to my spirit.
I said, "wow, Ok." I have to chuckle about that, but in that moment it clearly was a direction for me to go, so I went and got some italian bread that I happened to have on hand, and I poured some red wine. I got down on my knees in the place where I have met and prayed and cried out my tears to Poppa. To me it's a "Holy" place. Any place that you meet with JESUS regularly is a special place. I opened my Bible and tried to find the scriptures where Jesus had the last supper with His deciples before He was taken to be cruicifed, to be whipped and to be broken for us.

This is that passage:
Luke 22:17-20
17 After taking the cup, He gave thanks and said, “Take this and divide it among you. 18 For I tell you I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.”

19 And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

20 In the same way, after the supper He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.[a]

And also:

from Matthew 26:26-29

26 While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when He had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to His disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”

27 Then He took a cup, and when He had given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. 28 This is my blood of the[b] covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29 I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

I asked the Lord for the forgiveness of my sins andshort comings, my faults and any areas in which I have been at fault in my life and marriage. I remembered that the stripes that JESUS took upon His back were for my redemption, my healing...OUR HEALING. In MARRIAGE WE'RE "ONE", so on behalf of my husband, I went before Poppa in Worship. I firmly and truly believe that when we recieve communion we are recognizing and honoring what JESUS did for us. His blood, His broken heart and body, His rejection -everything He took upon Himself that day for us. That we can be made whole, be restored, be made new. This pleases Him and honors Him.

I believe one of the stripes was for the brokenhearted. He had a broken heart for us. He knows the tears we cry and the pain that engulfs us.
Psalm 147:3 says "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

As I took a drink of the wine to my lips, I thanked him for the healing and redemption that is for me and my husband. "I receive ALL the benefits of the cross and resurrection that you did for me and for us, Poppa".

I prayed specifically for the areas where my husband needs healing: depression, anger, hurt, pain, insomnia, etc., and anything that would hinder him from moving forward in all That the Lord has in store for his future. I believe that Poppa considers a marriage covenant as "Holy" and precious, so I put our wedding certificate at my feet and laid my hands upon it as I prayed and said "remember"....

I also took the bread and broke it and thanked Poppa for what He did. That His body was broken and bruised for our iniquities. This was for me and my husband. I cannot tell you how beautiful this moment of worship was to me. His presence was in the room. I felt a great peace settle over me. I have been doing this communion with Poppa for 8 days now. I can say that this time has been very special. Today is the anniversary of when Poppa took me to the heavenlies...to where I saw Him face to face. I remember Him telling me about worship and my husband. He said, "You are ONE, You worship together in spirit and in TRUTH." Those words have stuck with me since, so even though my husband isn't with me, we are still together bound in a covenant before OUR Father in Heaven. I sometimes can feel what he is feeling and sense when something isn't right. During those times, I pray hard for him as wife should do.

We are the BRIDE OF CHRIST. MARRIAGE is a symbol of CHRIST's love for the church. He even instructs for husbands to love their wives like He Himself did. Ephesians 5:25 says,"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This how much He values marriage: His own name is on it.

For those who are struggling in your marriage, I ask that you take the time to get away and have communion with the Lord. If your spouse is willing, do it together. If not, just be open and have a heart to please our LORD. HE is with you. He loves to spend time with you. It pleases Him.

Guitar Strings

Every time I see a Taylor guitar I think of him. When my ears hear acoustic, I feel him. His hands strumming and the strings he plays are my heart. The notes are hypnotic. My throat longs to sing out and make a melody with him. Before he came to get all his belongings, I prayed. I layed hands on his guitar and anointed it with oil. Because I know and I feel he has purpose and he has destiny that has been waiting for him to let go and surrender to it.
It's been so hard. I feel I got lost in the fog that's thick like in London. I felt like I was reaching out and grasping in the silence, turning every which way as I strain to hear his music. His heartbeat is my music. I guess when you become one with someone, you know what they are feeling. You sense when they are having a rough day or if they are hurting, even if you're apart. He played for me on our wedding night. I could tell he was nervous, which was kinda cute. I remember when we were in the soaking pool at the hotel we stayed at -him holding me in his arms and telling me how beautiful I was over and over again. I wish, I wish I could go back in time with him to that night. I would tell him, "Please, no matter what, don't give up on us, no matter how dark it might seem, because I promise you -I promise you, I will be with you by your side -even in the dark, baby." I would sing to him in the lonely darkness...sing him out of his pit. Maybe he could find his way again. My eyes are blurred with tears even now thinking of him.
I believe we would have made beautiful music together if we both would just let go, it would have been genuinely heavenly, because lyrically I flow easily, and he masters arrangement. We both play and sing what we feel, so it would have been explosive, but most importantly, we both know how to get immersed and totally lost in worship with Poppa. That's one thing we have thats not forgettable, nor ever something that could be denied. Maybe sometime when I'm lost in worship I will bump into him again, when his heart is healed and he's engulfed by and surrendered to Poppa. If not, then his music haunts me and I know my voice lingers in his heart and head, because Rachel always has Jacob forever with her.

"I always love you. I always will."

Psalm 149:3
Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.