Mirrors

She is looking in the mirror tonight ...harsh reality is all she sees: lines of tiredness on her face -a forced smile is hard to come by. Behind her eyes are tears yet to be shed, and she knows she can't let them slip down her cheeks until she's alone in the darkness of her room in her empty bed, where her pillow greets them every night. Some say she's strong, but the dress she wears feels like loneliness. Her silent prayers unspoken: "Oh, Poppa God, just let me know You are here, and hold me tight because I can't go on like this tonight. Send your angels to help me find my way." She straightens herself up, sighs, and walks out the door to make dinner for her kids. "Poppa, help me tonight."
(To be continued. My Story, my Heart, my Testimony. written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved.)

In The Fog

In the silence, in the moment when I feel everything is too foggy and I can't seem to see hope through the trees of my soul, I hold on -even if all I can do is whisper His name: "Jesus". It feels cold, it feels lonely, and I'm tired of bravely smiling everyday. But I hold on...hold on even if I see no difference and no change in the situation, and when I feel I am not heard -help me. Help me. Help me to trust, and when I'm so tired, let me fall into Your everlasting arms. Heavenly Father, today I come before You, and I remind myself to give You honor and praise for all You have done for me. Thank You for all the times You have brought me through, and now, as I walk through a time of fog and I can't seem to see my way, I trust in You to complete what You have purposed and planned for my life. Your ways are higher than mine, and I choose at this moment to trust You to help me accomplish all that You have promised to do through me. I don't fully understand why this waiting time has been so long, but You will perfect everything that concerns me. I hold fast to Your love. I hold fast to Your word that is forever and unchanging. I love You, Poppa God, and I delight in You and I know that You will give me the desires of my heart. In Jesus' name, the Name that is written on my heart for eternity, Amen. ♥ Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2012 All rights reserved. Please share for encouragement purposes only.

Be At Rest

"LORD, You have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me. Even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:5-8

God is so good that even while we are sleeping, He instructs our hearts. I woke up this morning just feeling a deep sense of "Rest". I share this for someone who might need it. I personally have done what I can do regarding certain situations and prayers that I have prayed. I'm at a place of restfulness and peace, and I know this is the Holy Spirit, because I generally am not like that. Being at complete rest does not mean you have given up, but that you are in complete rest knowing He has it in hand. ♥ Bless the Lord, Oh my soul and all that is within me, Bless His Holy name. I was battling restlessness and the frustrations of not getting what I was praying for. His mercy is so good, because He let me know He has it "all" and I don't need to fret anymore about these circumstances that have been pressing on me. He has heard me and He has it taken care of it "all". Psalm 116:7 "Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me." Being at rest also means trust. He loves it when we trust Him. ♥ Trust is precious. It's intimate. It's sacred. It's honorable. Poppa God, I trust You. Heavenly Father, I come before you in reverence and with thanksgiving. I delight in You, and I know and trust that You have heard my prayers and my heart's cry. I lay myself in sweet rest in Your lap, knowing that You have all these concerns and worries in Your hands. I rest with expectation. I am covered and wrapped in Your blanket of grace and love. I rest in Your shadows. I rest under Your wings. I rest in Your name for You are with me. Great is your faithfulness, O God. Your peace is upon me! Written By Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives, Copyright 2012 All rights reserved. Scriptures from NIV and New Living Translation. Please feel free to share for encouragement purposes only.

One Of Those Days

Sometimes I just want comfort, because the ache of missing someone is so great. I just don't want to get out of bed, because the thoughts haunt and linger like an old friend, and I wonder if they remember me. Sometimes I just don’t want to fake a smile, because the emotions are just way too close to the surface and it feels like I’m truly at the breaking point of a tear slipping down. No, thank you. I have come this far. So I just want to eat some chocolate, or maybe a comforting gourmet cheese sandwich with soup; but please, please don’t drag me anywhere. I’m just tired, very tired. I know this temporary feeling will pass just like a quick little rain shower. I’m not going backward, I refuse to do that. I’m going forward, if only someone could hold me and not say a word. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012. All rights reserved.

Good Morning, Poppa God

Being a mom, a wife, a friend, a minister of the gospel, a chauffeur, a housekeeper, and everything else we women tend to be, we must always make time for God. He should get special attention, whether it's early in the morning before the sun rises, or in the pale moonlight while everyone in the house sleeps. Spend time with the Lord. Read a passage of His word. Listen to worship music and let the cares of your day wash away. Speak to Him when you're in the shower, or waiting for the light to turn green at an intersection. Live a lifestyle of chatting with Him throughout the day. It's not about how much time, but rather quality time. He has things He wants to say to you. He loves to whisper, "I love yous" in your ear. You just need to be listening with your heart. We women get so busy. We must realize that Mary in the Bible had it so right when she stopped in the middle of her busyness and just sat at His feet. Martha missed out because she was too concerned with all the work that needed to be done. Look for those moments in between the "Mommy, Mommys". Learn to teach your kids that sometimes you need quiet time and that they can play quietly or read a book while you're having prayer time. I used to sit in my rocking chair when my kids were little. They knew this meant Mama wasn't to be disturbed while praying. This also sets the stage for your kids to grow in good habits of spending time with God. We all have our seasons and times in our lives to change as our family life changes. Even if its 10 minutes or one hour, just make it a valuable, cherished time of soaking in God's presence. He is longing for us. He delights in us talking to Him throughout the day.

How To Make Your Home A Sanctuary

We as wives have the ability to set the tone and mood of our home. It is a God given privilege and honor that He has given us this ability. Have you ever noticed the saying, "If the wife ain't happy then no one is?" It's true, and it's up to us to create a sanctuary in our homes for our husbands and children. How do we do this?        

1. The number one thing is our attitude and our tongue. Our voices usually will reflect what our mood is. Speaking harshly, nagging, yelling, critical words -all of these can make a home feel like a war zone instead of a soft place to land. The Bible says, (Proverbs 21:9) "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Men especially cannot stand someone who nags or is repetitively complaining. It naturally turns on their signal jammer to tune you out, so you're really not winning when you nag. The best thing to do is to mention something once and then go to prayer about the issue, if you are not getting the response you desire of your husband. Also, Proverbs 15:1 says this: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." How we answer or how we respond with our mouths makes a difference.
2. Remove chaos and clutter. This is an area I always need to work on. Is your house messy and full of piles of stuff? Proverbs 31:27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." In today's translation that would mean housekeeping. Your house doesn't have to be spotless. I know with small children it can be very challenging, but are there stacks of things that need to be donated to the thrift store? If you don't use it on a regular basis then I suggest either storing it in the garage or donating it to a local charity. Men do NOT like to come home to a huge mess especially after working hard all day. Who does? If you feel uptight or anxious in your house, you may need to do some spring cleaning. Get the family involved and spruce things up. Your bedroom should be the best room of your house: peaceful and clean -a relaxing haven. Think of it as your "love" den. Ask your husband if he likes the bedroom? Listen to him if he complains that the bedspread has too many flowers or the walls are pink. The colors of your decor should be something you both like. 
3. What's the spiritual tone in the house? What do I mean by that? Are there children fighting and screaming, is everyone not getting along? When the tension is rising this is what you can do: light some candles. It creates a calming feel. Play some worship music. Start praying out loud and ask God to bring His sweet peace and love in your home. Believe me it works! You can actually see a difference with the kids and your own mood. When you know your husband has had a bad day, do this before he gets home. Sometimes I will leave christian music playing on in my home even when I'm out doing errands. It's a great thing to come home to. 
4. I know most women now work outside of the home these days, but if you can master this one thing, do it. When you greet your husband as he walks in the door or as you walk in the door, have a smile on your face and let him know you missed him. Also, Romans 16:16 says "Greet one another with a holy kiss." Plant a nice one on his lips when you leave or come home. Don't go into a full long paragraph of all the troubles or irritations of the day. Let him have a chance to relax and unwind. You can still share what's on your mind, but create a time of enjoying each each first. Husbands are more receptive if you approach things this way. It's how they are wired. Let him know often how much you appreciate that he works hard for the family and that he provides. Praise goes a long way. We all like to feel appreciated. These few things are simple and they can make your living environment nice. Keep your nest a safe and restful refuge. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2011

When You're Weary

God does not need to rely on us to fight. He has all the strength and power to overcome anything, but He does want us to trust Him and believe that He will fight for us. Our circumstances most likely will not change if we're trying to change them with our own abilities. His word says, in 1 Samuel 17:44, "All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and He will give all of you into our hands.” It's difficult at times to just be still and trust Him that He is working things out. When we struggle and fight, we are really fighting ourselves, making ourselves weary and tired. That's something the enemy wants -for us to be tired, confused, and to lose hope. Burnout is bad, because then you really want to throw in the towel and not trust God. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Mathew 11:28. Resting in His word and His presence is not giving up, it's trusting. Trust is so important to our Heavenly Father. He wants and desires that from us. If we are not completly relying on Him, it's like were saying His Word is a lie. This would be insulting to Him. Thankfully He knows and understands our human frailty and loves us anyway. Lord, I lay down at your feet everything that concerns me. I ask you for the strength and faith to keep it all in Your hands, and for me to not pick up my worries again. You will perfect that which concerns me. Your eyes are on me and I rest in You alone. Your Word is all I need. Thank you for taking care of what concerns me today. I trust in You and lean not on my own understanding. You will guide and direct my life. Amen.

I Want My Daddy

Sometimes it feels this world of problems and struggles is just too much to bear. I feel like a little girl with snot running down her nose, hair and clothes all rumpled, tears smeared across my face. My thoughts are racing, "Where's my Daddy? Where has He gone?" I'm searching and looking. Running from room to room. I'm looking for my Daddy so He can pull me up on His lap and tell me it's going to be okay -that He will beat up the bad guys who are chasing me, and give me the feeling and assurance that He will protect me. I can feel Him wiping my tears with the corner of my dress and He is holding me tight. I feel safe and alright. I smell His neck and his scent relaxes me. He tickles me and makes me laugh. I soon forget what troubled me. We're both laughing. And I'm kissing His cheek. He whispers, "What does my baby girl want?" I know that whatever my heart's desire is, He will give me. I can hear my own voice say, "Just hold me close, Daddy. Just hold me a whole lot longer." From Hebrews 13:5,b God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

There Is Always Hope

Do you feel you're losing hope? Are you tired? Do you feel you are hanging by a thread and it's about to break? Do you feel like you have been calling out and you hear nothing but silence to your hearts cries? God's word is true and everlasting. His word is faithful and true. Cling to the hope that you know. Faith, hope and love are all inertwined together -they are your rope to hang onto in times of struggle and pain. Jesus is on the other end of that rope you're holding onto. He is your anchor and He won't let go of you. When you are running low on hope, cry out to Jesus. He will give you more hope, just ask Him for it. Psalm 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Psalm 43:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 71:5 For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth. Psalm 119:114 You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Job 11:18 You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. There's always HOPE, my friend.

Being Pushed

Wow is all I can say, and thank you, God, that you're bringing changes to my life. I sometimes don't like to say the word "surrender" because it seems scary with the unknown that follows. My heart has been crying out for help in the areas that I need changing. There's plenty of need for change. Poppa God is pushing me out of my comfort zone, toward things He placed on my heart years ago: callings and gifts He has blessed me with. For so long I have been on an invisible shelf, collecting the dust of days going by. I'm sure part of it was just the process of growth and refining my character, but now that I have been stepping out into the water, I feel myself being dusted off by God and underneath the grime of disappointments, rejections of others, and insecurities. I find myself being made shiny and new -even pretty. It's something I felt I had lost, but I'm now realizing it was there all along, I just couldn't see it. I have gotten my music back, my singing in the Holy Spirit back, prophetic words and songs back, and I feel Him pushing me to start using those gifts and talents again. Scary, but fantastically cool. I just have to remember that He is with me. He is with me in all I do for Him. I'm not alone in this, and you're not alone in this -in what God has for you to do. God is with you as you step out in faith and allow yourself to be vulnerable to others. I see prayers being answered in my ministry of fighting for marriages and families. I see prayers being answered in my personal life as well -things I just about gave up on are coming forth. Wow, God! Sometimes I think we feel stuck in a dark, dank dungeon, and we can't ever get out, but sometimes I think Poppa God has already removed our shackles, but we don't notice. We're like elephants, who even though they are no longer chained and staked to the ground, won't go past the invisible line, because off their memory of being restrained. I must go past the length of chain I once was restrained by, and I hear Poppa God say, "You're free. You are truly free. MOVE"

I am hoping for and expecting the rest of the resources and tools I need to move forward into what God has called me to. A music team that flows in the spirit to prophetic songs. It will happen -courage and bravery to speak to the ladies at the women's retreat coming up -healing for my body. I'm praying and fasting this week. I've got to get away and hide in the cleft of the rock. I want to see His face more. That's the thing with His presence- it gets addictive, and there's nothing else that satisfies, but His LOVE. I pray all of you who are on your journey of transformation- you are "FREE" and you must walk past that barrier line that you have had for so long. There's so much more for you than you could ever comprehend. "You are free Oh, Daughter! Free!" Love ya gals, and I'm expecting to hear from you about what God is doing in your hearts, lives and bodies. Next level!!!

Changes: Week 3 (90 Day Challenge of Transformation)

I won't lie, this third week was hard. It took me all week to even write it- forgive me...

...but I did see changes in my character, and also my body. I went and tried clothes on and was gleefully delighted as they glided on easily. I fought frustration and physical pain, because the weather hasn't been favorable to me. Also my ministry was attacked. Blahh is how I felt some of this past week, but I came through the tests with grace and I feel there is growth, Praise God! I have learned that you just have to keep moving forward, even if it feels like there aren't any results. A couple of days do matter when eating healthy and exercising. I love my friends in the challenge and family who have supported me. This whole experience has been VERY challenging. I am not one who usually is naturally disciplined so for me to lead a group of ladies on this 90 day expedition has been humbling and has caused me to learn to follow through. Some of the gals didn't like a picture I posted of a woman who was smiling with her flaws showing. I felt it was healing, so I just pushed aside my desire to people please, and did what I felt was right. Wow, It was huge for me!!!! I will not always please man, but I must strive to Please GOD. That is what matters and He smiles and approves, not because I deserve it, but because He is LOVE and GRACE. I am getting thinner and my skin is looking fabulous, but inside I'm getting stronger too. I am His daughter and He loves me. Knowing this and walking in this daily is my desire. A Queen knows her place and her authority as she submits to Christ her KING. We are truly becoming a queen after the heart of our King.

Poppa's Baby Girl By The Sea

I love the ocean. It's always a special place to me. I feel so little standing next to the massive sea. I sense God's power and beauty as I hear the waves crashing and lapping over my feet, enjoying the smell of the air and how clean it makes me feel. Truly God is everywhere, but I feel closest to Him at the beach. Sometimes I go here to find emotional healing and to clear my head of all the muck. There are no distractions, just His beauty and power. The aches of my heart have been many. Sometimes it feels this season will never end. I get strong some days, I think I'm finally better and then a memory or a song will send me crashing down like a sneaker wave. Great is His faithfulness! When I am overcome with grief -yet My Lord is with me and I make it through another piece of my broken vessel. There is purpose and a tangible plan that our Maker has when He is taking the pieces of our heart and fusing them back together. There is beauty even when there have been ashes. His love has so many levels -so deep, so vast, so wide, so mysteriously amazing. I can never fully comprehend His love. It's endless, just like the view of a horizon at sea -you see no end to it. Sometimes I feel so unworthy, so unlovable, so unvaluable, but they are lies, and just because I feel that way for the moment doesn't mean it's truth. What is constant? What is true? His love and mercy, grace and justice are as sure as the ocean tide coming in. I don't always see the end of this process. As I was walking on the wet sand and water was swirly around my ankles, I began to sink and I whispered, "I feel afraid, Poppa." He said to me so quietly, but so clearly: "You will not sink as long as you keep moving". I remember that day like a permanent fixture burned on my heart. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. I wrote all my cares and concerns of my heart on rocks with a sharpie pen and I prayed over each one of them and then I threw them into the sea. "Here, Poppa God. You can have it all."