My Love Story

My love story is different than some...One day, the true love of my life walked out the door for the last time. It was one of the most painful and devastating times imaginable, but I knew I had to keep going, and it was only by the grace of God that I did. I started Ruby Wives Ministry, and it was growing by leaps and bounds. I had no idea that during my own heart shattering crisis, God would make something good come out of my ashes. My humbled and naive idea of helping other hurting women who were silently struggling in their marriages while dealing with separation or divorce, would turn into something bigger than I could ever plan. It was really stepping out onto the water for me, because I didn't even know how to make a Facebook page at the time. I was crying in a crumpled heap on my pile of laundry when I heard His almost audible voice whisper to my heart: "I want you to take these women with you on this journey."

Two and a half years later, thousands of women and even men have become faithful readers of our pages that offer simple prayers, wisdom, and encouragement for spouses. God allowed my brokenness and reflection of the mistakes I made as a wife to become wisdom gems to share with others. Through transparently shared struggles about my own journey of healing, our readers responded openly and thanked me because they could relate. My tears became their comfort, because they felt they were not alone. My surrendered weakness to God became my new-found strength as well as theirs, because they were dealing with similar circumstances. Then came the newly wed brides, the happily married wives...women of different circumstances and statuses, broken or abandoned...they all became fans. I realized that as I was learning and gleaning wisdom and sharing it with wives, a positive growth and change was happening. It was contagious. Praise God! It was all His beautiful plan unfolding before me. Letters poured in from around the world with reports of marriages being restored and women being encouraged. My heart has been so overabundantly blessed, and even though things haven't turned out the way I thought they would, or the way I wanted them to, God revealed to me that He has always had a plan, and that He knew what was best for me. He built a full time ministry out of my broken mess and ashes, and He built a new dream in me. Beauty had come.

One thing I have learned through this beautiful, crazy and amazing journey, is that we all have one thing in common: a broken heart is a broken heart. Pain is pain. Marriage troubles are the same everywhere, no matter who you are or where you are from. The internet is a way to reach women in all parts of the world. Barriers are broken by it. I have had countless pastors' wives who were hurting in silence because their spouse was having an affair, struggling with addictions, etc., write to me for advice and prayers. They felt safe reaching out for help online.

Through this process, I finally came to a certain place of healing and surrender in my heart, I saw that God had an even bigger plan, and that I was not to look backward anymore. I found that my love story isn't over, it's being rediscovered and revised by the One who created love in the first place. Thus, A Modern Day Ruth was born. God revealed that the "Ruth" of this generation is primarily the woman who has been abandoned, divorced because of circumstances beyond her control, or has experienced abuse and neglect. The Modern Day Ruth is a woman who has experienced a devastation or even spiritual and emotional "death." Her husband has died to her and the family, and has walked away.

We live in a society where if it isn't easy or if it needs fixing, we will just go get a "new one" and people end up discarded as if they're replaceable things. It's so sad. Our world would be a happier and better place if people valued and honored marriages and families. What's worse is that the very place where women like us should find refuge comfort and support -the church- often judges, condemns, and turns its head away from these women. Many times I, myself, have felt that the Christian family I thought would be there for me, looked at me like I was the woman with the scarlet letter, as though I was someone who slept around. I was surprised to find that this is the perception some people have of single moms. That was definitely not the case for me, and even if it was, what would Jesus do? He never condemned the woman at the well, nor did he throw a stone at the woman who supposedly was caught in the act of adultery. I see the story of the woman at the well as tragic. She must have had her heart severely broken several times. She must have been abandoned, rejected, lied to, used, and promised false forevers... I often wish I could go back in time and hug that woman in the Bible and tell her I love her and that she's going to be alright, but Jesus did it for me.

Now, as I walk this role of A Modern Day Ruth and as a leader of women, I continue to reach out to as many as possible, to remind each one that her love story doesn't just end in heartache and tears, and that her life isn't going to be just struggle and pain. I know she faces tear-stained pillow nights and wrestles with ongoing loneliness. She wakes up to difficult days of surviving while trying to take care of her children...the family her husband left behind. Though Ruth was a widow, she ended up having her season of heartache turn to a lifetime of joy, and the promise of a lasting legacy. I am many times reminded of the words that are engraved upon my heart, and I have clung to them often: Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Everyone has a love story. Sometimes that love story doesn't turn out the way you wish it would have. Maybe you're fighting for your love story right now to continue -fighting to keep your marriage alive, or your fairy tale dream may already have been shattered or ended in disappointment. Mine is that God took my messed up, abandoned, and broken heart and held me. He cradled me in the midst of my sheer agony and emotional turmoil. He didn't save my marriage, but He saved me. He gave me purpose and He took each piece of my heart and mended me, making me stronger and better than before. I have come to know that in Him I do have my happy ever after, and my love story with Him is still beautifully unfolding. Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2014

Pouring Rain Of Grace (Spontaneous Song)

You're making me beautiful, beautiful, beautiful 

in your pouring rain of Grace. 

You're washing all the grime and weariness from my tired feet 

on this lonely road I've faced. 

And there is a hole in heaven where your healing perfume 

is being poured out over me. 

And all that is left on me is the fragrance of heaven. 

Just like the smell of a much needed rain 

on a hot summer evening. 

Your raining grace is so sweet. 

And all my tears and pain have been washed away 

in your pouring grace. 

~ Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives copyright 2013.

He Rescued Me

2 Samuel 22:17
“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters."

I am a living testimony that Poppa God can reach down and pull you out of dark places that you feel too afraid and overwhelmed to get out of. I have been through just about every kind of heartache and disappointing experience you can imagine: physical and mental abuse and abandonment, unwanted divorce, miscarriages, poverty, chronic illness and rejection. I've been cheated on, left for another woman, felt suicidal, hopeless, and deeply depressed. 

During these various trials and seasons I at times thought I would lose my mind, but I trusted in His great Mercy and Grace and I called on His name -the name of JESUS. Sometimes I could barely whisper it under my breath, but He heard the cry of heart. The only name who could rescue me and save me. Without Him, I would have been dead long ago. In the darkest times He has been the one who I could rely on. I am no longer a victim, but an overcomer. My scars are still here as a living testimony of His faithfulness. 

If you are in the dark place where you see nothing but tears and pain, there is HOPE for you. Cry out to Jesus and tell Him you can't overcome this alone. He will grab a hold of you and pull you out; and when you are too tired to go any further, you can lay in His everlasting arms and He will carry you. Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord- Plans for good and not for evil, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE." Hold onto Him and you will make it to the other side. Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives
Copyright 2013

Dear Ruth

To the "Ruths" who are waiting for a "Boaz" to walk into your life:
I remember the day my Mama and I went to a powerful church service at Jesus Pursuit Church in Albany, OR. We were both going through some painful and difficult times. My heart had been severely broken by my husband of 13 years who walked away from God and his family. The air was thick in the sanctuary. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so sweet. The music was going, and I was lost in worship. This place felt safe. In my heart I leaned against Poppa God on a white horse. I call God Poppa. I have always wanted to be a Daddy's girl, but my real Dad couldn't be there for me. In His presence I felt like I was the only one. I spiritually felt bare and naked with my broken heart exposed, but felt so safe and so warm resting in His arms. After the music and message that were given, my Mama wanted me to go up front to the altar area to be prayed for. I felt shy and awkward about it, but at my Mama's request, I did. She's my hero in so many ways. Anything she asks of me I will do. I was prayed for and given a precious and memorable word. I was told by the prayer lady that God wanted me know it wasn't my fault and that Poppa loved me. He called me His favorite, and at that moment I felt like I truly was. God is so awesome how He does this. We truly are His favorite. Each one of us. After some time I went and kneeled at the altar and cried out to Him. I heard Him say so clearly- I'm sending you a "Boaz". I pondered what He said. I knew it was His voice. I've never really been interested much about the story of Ruth and Boaz. I went to Sunday School as a child and it was never my favorite story, but since then I have studied the book of Ruth. I've listened and gleaned from it and applied it to areas of my life. Have I bumped into my Boaz, Yet? No, but I have learned to be busy about my Father's business. Loving others and working in the fields that God has called me to. I have met so many "Ruths and Naomies" along the way of this healing journey. I have spent the last few years gleaning and sharing wisdom of what a godly woman and wife should be like. Sharing my own journey, being transparent with my readers, praying and standing in the gap for marriages. We have helped soothe some broken hearts. Poppa God has been faithful. I see so many strong women who have been hurt and disappointed; but their faith shines like the sun and I am so privileged and blessed to know them. The story of Ruth is about redemption. Poppa God covers us with His love and redeems us from our painful past. He celebrates us as the Bride of Christ. He provides for us single mamas and is a Husband when we need one. He is also a Father to the fatherless. He is all that we have need of. I've learned to let go of searching for the affections of a man, and to put my broken bleeding heart into the hands of the Almighty. There, I know it will always be protected and safe. I have come so far, and I feel so grateful that I'm no longer broken or dismayed. He has given me purpose -given me a message that burns on my heart to share. Keep trusting God, Keep walking in faith, and do what God has called you to -and when the time is right, your "Boaz" will see you from across the field. 

He Walked Away: Overcoming Heartache

I kept waiting night after night for his truck to pull into the driveway. I slept in his t-shirt just to keep his scent near me. My days were blurred in a thick foggy haze. I barely slept, I barely ate, I lost the desire to live. I was truly heartsick. I can still remember my teenage son's voice saying, "Mama...don't you think it's time you slept upstairs in your bed again?" I felt so lost. I told myself he would come back; that somehow his truck had broken down and that he wasn't able to call. I tried to reason with my heart that he wasn't really gone; that he would be back. I was completely heartsick. I never really fully understood what the words meant when someone said their heart was broken. Oh, the sure pain of it -now...so surreal. I don't take those words for granted anymore. I have learned to pray, comfort, listen and hold someone's hand when they say those words. I am so eternally grateful for Poppa God walking me through that difficult time in my life. He truly healed that shattered broken heart, and then He gave me a purpose -even a rare beauty out of what was meant to destroy me. It's been several years now and those memories have faded, but I have not forgotten. What should you do when your heart is broken? Here are some things that helped me through that painful season:

* If someone has left you, don't beg and plead for them to stay or come back. The best advice my grandmother gave me was: "If a man wants to walk, let him walk."  Begging, pleading, crying, manipulating, or pining for them to stay will only prolong your pain and suffering and that of your children. If someone wants to stay they will do it out of their own free will. You can't force someone to love you or to be faithful to you. Love is a choice, so let them choose. I know it hurts. I know you can't imagine your life without them, but you have to let them decide on their own.

* Decide and determine in your heart that you will hold onto God no matter what. It's not His fault that a human you loved disappointed you. Cling to His promise that He will never leave you or forsake you. Cry out to Him. Pray. Choose to read His word, stay in church. Even if you feel like your world is falling apart remember that you are in the palm of His hand and He will carry you. He is closer than a brother and a friend at all times. Let Him hold you and comfort you. He can handle your pain and your tears. Life may not make sense right now but life will get better again. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy will come in the morning.

* Reach out to someone you can trust; a prayer partner, a best friend, a pastor or mentor. Let them know what's going on. A true friend will care and be there for you during difficult times. Don't allow the lies of the enemy to tell you that you have to go through this alone. You need help during this time and it's okay to admit that. Ask others to pray for your strength, peace of mind, healing in your heart to take place.

* Remember to take care of your body. When you go through heartache your overwhelming feelings invade you and you may forget to eat. Your appetite may be completely gone. Choose to at least eat some protein and drink water daily to keep yourself  hydrated.

* Choose to live life. You probably want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. Force yourself to get up and get out of the house. Go for walks, see a movie with a friend, grab coffee and read the Word. I know it feels like your life is void and empty, but whatever you do, do not stop living. If you were happy before this person came into your life, you can be happy again without them. It will just take time.

* In the moments when you are completely overwhelmed by the grief and surges of feelings, have a friend you can call or text so they can pray for you. Sometimes the pain in your heart will feel like a sneaker tidal wave. You may feel completely like your drowning, but imagine yourself holding onto God's hand. He is right beside you and He will not let you be consumed. He is your anchor during the storm. Allow yourself to feel the pain and remind yourself that these feelings are temporary and they will pass. Breathe.

* Take time to reflect. You can't do a thing about the person who broke your heart, but you can reflect and think about what you could do differently. Listen to God's voice and be honest with yourself. It's a healthy approach to admit your mistakes and to glean wisdom from them. Ask God to show you what was unhealthy about the relationship. The truth sets us free. Don't beat yourself up though and do not condemn yourself. Don't blame yourself for everything either. It takes two people to have a relationship. Everyone has something they can do better and things to work on.

* Determine in your heart that you will forgive the person who hurt you. It doesn't mean you don't feel the pain anymore. It doesn't mean you are letting them off the hook -it means letting God deal with them. It means that you choose to walk in God's love. He can deal with people's hearts better than we can ourselves. I know it hurts. I know you're angry. I know you feel betrayed. It's okay to feel these feelings, but make the decision to forgive them. Ask God to help you in this. God can handle your feelings. Forgiveness is not a feeling but a decision.

* Do not choose to date or get involved in another romantic relationship until a lengthy time has passed. It's the worst mistake you can make. To start dating while your heart is broken is like walking around with a broken foot on novocaine. When the numbness wears off you will hurt even more. The damage will be greater. A second heartache is worse than first. Trust me -I know. Just because you feel better does not mean you are completely healed and ready for a relationship. Healing of a broken heart takes time. It's a process. God is a gentlemen and He heals our hearts one layer at a time, like an onion. Do yourself and the other person a favor -guard your heart. Get healthy first.

* Do special things for you. You are worth it. Go for walks, exercise, get a pedicure. Pamper yourself. Pamper a girlfriend. Do something kind for a neighbor. Do things that are stress relieving. Comfort yourself by surrounding yourself with good people and good atmosphere. Buy candles. Try a new hobby. Join a choir. Do it for you.

* Remember that tears are part of the process. It doesn't mean you are going backwards. A memory, a song or a smell might trigger feelings of the person who left you. Allow yourself to feel the pain and then move forward. Tears are cleansing, they're part of how God designed us to heal. He cares about you and the tears that fall on your pillow at night. So much that He actually records them in heaven.

* Avoid seeking comfort from places and things that will only temporarily numb your pain. Stay away from alcohol, drugs, sex outside of marriage, online dating services, or people who are a bad influence. All these things may feel good for a while, but your life will end up in destruction. Seek comfort from Jesus, His word, your friends, church, etc. Anything that is good, pure, lovely -think on those things.

* Know and remember that your pain and broken relationship are not your identity. You are lovable. You are a child of God. Nothing you can do can separate you from His unfailing love for you. He loves you right where you're at. Your mess is not who you are. Just because someone stopped loving you does not mean that you are unlovable. That is a huge lie of the enemy to try to destroy your confidence and self esteem.

Praying for you, Dear one. God is with you in this season. Love will bloom again on the branches of your heart. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share for encouragement purposes. All scriptures are taken from the  NIV Bible Version.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

 Hebrews 13:5

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Psalm 51:17

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

In Love with Jesus

I am so grateful that my heart is no longer shredded in pieces from heartache and abandonment. Did I get my husband back? No, But I laid him on the altar and have found Poppa God has set me free. When you can get past trying to chase a man's love and affections, when you can stop dwelling on every single little word and action he is doing, when you can finally surrender and say, "Jesus, no matter what I'm going to trust You because I know You know what's best for me. With or without him, I will always serve and love You. I tell you that's when your true healing begins. A peace and contentment comes and you'll feel purpose and hope again. Then your heart is ready to be in love again...In love with Jesus. I am so in love with His presence -so in love with His beauty and goodness. Sometimes the testimony isn't what you wanted, but it will be what is truly best for you. I have found my treasure. I have found my worth -in Christ alone. God promised me love again. A Boaz that will walk into my life. Until then, I am so content and happy. I love encouraging women on their journeys of healing and sharing wisdom from the mistakes I have made. God is so faithful to bring good out of every circumstance if we trust Him.

Mirrors

She is looking in the mirror tonight ...harsh reality is all she sees: lines of tiredness on her face -a forced smile is hard to come by. Behind her eyes are tears yet to be shed, and she knows she can't let them slip down her cheeks until she's alone in the darkness of her room in her empty bed, where her pillow greets them every night. Some say she's strong, but the dress she wears feels like loneliness. Her silent prayers unspoken: "Oh, Poppa God, just let me know You are here, and hold me tight because I can't go on like this tonight. Send your angels to help me find my way." She straightens herself up, sighs, and walks out the door to make dinner for her kids. "Poppa, help me tonight."
(To be continued. My Story, my Heart, my Testimony. written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved.)

A Moment

Clear memories remind me of that September fall day when the truth hit me, and I realized that he had not only abandoned me, but he had left me for another woman, a woman who was already married to someone else. I can still vividly recall the sobs of brokenness that literally took my breath away as I crumpled to the floor. The pain of emotions was like drowning in tidal waves, sending my soul crashing down again and again with no comfort or relief. Now, though, I can see that Poppa God was there with me the whole time...Ruby's Story.
(To be continued) ~Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012 all Rights Reserved.
 Join me as I share my story, my heart, my testimony. Need prayer or support? Join us at: Ruby Wives

In The Fog

In the silence, in the moment when I feel everything is too foggy and I can't seem to see hope through the trees of my soul, I hold on -even if all I can do is whisper His name: "Jesus". It feels cold, it feels lonely, and I'm tired of bravely smiling everyday. But I hold on...hold on even if I see no difference and no change in the situation, and when I feel I am not heard -help me. Help me. Help me to trust, and when I'm so tired, let me fall into Your everlasting arms. Heavenly Father, today I come before You, and I remind myself to give You honor and praise for all You have done for me. Thank You for all the times You have brought me through, and now, as I walk through a time of fog and I can't seem to see my way, I trust in You to complete what You have purposed and planned for my life. Your ways are higher than mine, and I choose at this moment to trust You to help me accomplish all that You have promised to do through me. I don't fully understand why this waiting time has been so long, but You will perfect everything that concerns me. I hold fast to Your love. I hold fast to Your word that is forever and unchanging. I love You, Poppa God, and I delight in You and I know that You will give me the desires of my heart. In Jesus' name, the Name that is written on my heart for eternity, Amen. ♥ Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2012 All rights reserved. Please share for encouragement purposes only.

Be At Rest

"LORD, You have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me. Even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:5-8

God is so good that even while we are sleeping, He instructs our hearts. I woke up this morning just feeling a deep sense of "Rest". I share this for someone who might need it. I personally have done what I can do regarding certain situations and prayers that I have prayed. I'm at a place of restfulness and peace, and I know this is the Holy Spirit, because I generally am not like that. Being at complete rest does not mean you have given up, but that you are in complete rest knowing He has it in hand. ♥ Bless the Lord, Oh my soul and all that is within me, Bless His Holy name. I was battling restlessness and the frustrations of not getting what I was praying for. His mercy is so good, because He let me know He has it "all" and I don't need to fret anymore about these circumstances that have been pressing on me. He has heard me and He has it taken care of it "all". Psalm 116:7 "Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me." Being at rest also means trust. He loves it when we trust Him. ♥ Trust is precious. It's intimate. It's sacred. It's honorable. Poppa God, I trust You. Heavenly Father, I come before you in reverence and with thanksgiving. I delight in You, and I know and trust that You have heard my prayers and my heart's cry. I lay myself in sweet rest in Your lap, knowing that You have all these concerns and worries in Your hands. I rest with expectation. I am covered and wrapped in Your blanket of grace and love. I rest in Your shadows. I rest under Your wings. I rest in Your name for You are with me. Great is your faithfulness, O God. Your peace is upon me! Written By Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives, Copyright 2012 All rights reserved. Scriptures from NIV and New Living Translation. Please feel free to share for encouragement purposes only.

Season Of Change

Have you been through the dark valley? Have you been in a drought of joy or peace? Have you suffered a season of brokenness and tears? Has it seemed to last so long that you feel like it's never going to change? There is a time for all seasons under heaven to change. Your time will come. My life is proof of this. I went through a very long dark night of the soul and I have found His grace has sustained me and brought me through. I wrote this spontaneous song in the shower:

He gives me His song of deliverance, His love song of praise. 

He will give you one too. Hold on, Beloved. 

Your time of joy will come, I'm praying for you.

The season of change is here, Love surrounding me..

 His joy has been my strength.

 The pain and suffering are like leaves that are falling 

and all that is left are Your promises that remain. 

In You I have found that I have nothing lacking. 

In You I have all that I have ever need of. 

The wind of Your spirit is swirling around me

 blowing away all the pain and the shame.. 

Your love is sweet and thick on me like honey,

 and dripping is Your mercy and favor on my face. 

 Your grace -double grace is now falling like rain. 

All those who misunderstood and perhaps misjudged me 

are blessing me in your glorious name. 

Through it all I have found You to be faithful and true. 

The air is sweet and Your breath I feel in this place. 

In the dark night You walked me through. 

You never left my side.

Jesus, Your joy is mine and I'm forever grateful and dancing this time.

 My tears are dried and my suffering is falling like leaves and are blown away

and all that is left are your promises that remain. Copyright 2012, Jenny Williams.

Being God's Daughter

Being Poppa God's daughter doesn't change, even if we feel like we have totally blown it. Sometimes we feel like we're too much of a mess for God to love us, and we even begin to think no one else can love us either, especially if they really knew us. Going through much pain from my past abuse and abandonment, I know what I'm talking about. Growing up, I had a Dad who didn't pay much attention to me. I would have been a great Daddy's girl. It's just in me. I sometimes fill up with envy when I see young girls with their Dads. Why couldn't I have had that? Mine was there growing up, but not really there emotionally. I didn't get kisses and hugs good night. I didn't get tucked in bed by my Dad. He really didn't participate in my every day life. He was absent from birthday parties and milestones. Always longing for love and affection from my Dad, I tended to attract the wrong attention from the opposite sex. Because of this, I experienced abuse of every kind. I would always settle for less, just hoping to be loved. I didn't sleep around, but I did end up in relationships with unhealthy guys. Being abused mentally and physically. I even ended up marrying at the young age of 18 and living a nightmarish hell-on-earth experience being beaten, choked, fighting over a loaded gun, and my life being threatened. Those images have faded and barely seem real to me anymore, because I did survive and overcome. God was gracious and merciful. He brought me out to the other side. But even after deciding in my heart that I would never allow a man to hit me or to raise a hand to me again, I still would still accept a false love from other men. I traded physical abuse for being mentally and emotionally abused. The pattern would repeat itself, and for some reason, no matter much love I would pour out for the one I loved, I would be abandoned over and over again. I felt like a lost, scared little girl that so badly wanted her Daddy to love her. I let men degrade me and ruin my self confidence and esteem. I felt the pain of criticism when my second husband of thirteen years walked out on me. People at church judged me. I felt dirty, ashamed and embarrassed. I felt not good enough for anyone and wondering if I just plainly deserved to not be loved. At times I think my punishments to myself were worse than any physical blow to my body. Bruises heal up, words are are harder to overcome. Like stubborn permanent scars or tattoos. In all of this, I just wanted and craved to be loved. It's been a long journey of healing. A little at a time...many layers...like an onion. I still at times feel a pain in my heart wishing I could be a Daddy's girl, but I'm now relying on Poppa God to fill that role and hole in my heart. I write this to remind someone: anyone who feels ugly, broken, stained, useless, or abandoned. Even if you gave yourself away to another hoping to be loved. Even if you compromised your boundaries, received the wrong attention from a guy, either willingly or unwillingly, you are still loved. You are still precious. You are still God's daughter and He sees His righteousness in you. He doesn't see your robe or dress as dark, dingy, or tattered. He sees His love and grace as your clothing. Don't let the enemy lie to you. Don't let guilt and shame strip you of being confident in who you are. You are beautiful. You are SO worthy of being loved. And nothing...nothing can separate you from being loved by your Poppa God.

  Psalm 34:5 Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."  Jeremiah 31:3 "The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: 'I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.'"  Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Isaiah 61:10 "I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."

Afraid To Love

It can be frightening to love again, especially after someone you cared for, adored, and desired has walked away or betrayed you. Intimacy can be so scary. You want to open up, but you're afraid your love will spill over and be lost or rejected again. God is the only one who won't disappoint. Love is a risk. Love is laying yourself down for another's happiness, it's giving freely and not expecting a forced return. To those who are struggling to rebuild the trust and intimacy, it will happen one step at a time. ♥ There is Hope in Christ's Love. ♥ For the one who has hurt their spouse, be patient. Be willing to accept that trust has to be earned back. ~ Ruby Wives

When You're Weary

God does not need to rely on us to fight. He has all the strength and power to overcome anything, but He does want us to trust Him and believe that He will fight for us. Our circumstances most likely will not change if we're trying to change them with our own abilities. His word says, in 1 Samuel 17:44, "All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and He will give all of you into our hands.” It's difficult at times to just be still and trust Him that He is working things out. When we struggle and fight, we are really fighting ourselves, making ourselves weary and tired. That's something the enemy wants -for us to be tired, confused, and to lose hope. Burnout is bad, because then you really want to throw in the towel and not trust God. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Mathew 11:28. Resting in His word and His presence is not giving up, it's trusting. Trust is so important to our Heavenly Father. He wants and desires that from us. If we are not completly relying on Him, it's like were saying His Word is a lie. This would be insulting to Him. Thankfully He knows and understands our human frailty and loves us anyway. Lord, I lay down at your feet everything that concerns me. I ask you for the strength and faith to keep it all in Your hands, and for me to not pick up my worries again. You will perfect that which concerns me. Your eyes are on me and I rest in You alone. Your Word is all I need. Thank you for taking care of what concerns me today. I trust in You and lean not on my own understanding. You will guide and direct my life. Amen.

Waiting

Waiting on the Lord is not a waste of time. God is eternal and He is not limited by time, for He is the one who created it so we could measure our days and reflect on our memories. Don't lose heart during the time of waiting. Get close -ever so close to His chest and listen to His heartbeat. Waiting does come to an end. God finishes what He has purposed to do in our lives. It's we ourselves that struggle with our human impatience. We let our hopes slip away like a balloon floating way up to the sky and disappears. Good things happen to those who wait upon the Lord: Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Psalm 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope. Psalm 33:18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love. Hebrews 11:1 [ Faith in Action ] Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Waiting and hoping go together. If you feel you're on the edge of giving up -don't, because most likely you are about to receive what has been promised. Waiting is a part of life. Each season passes. The seeds in the ground wait for the sunlight to cause them to burst up from the earth and emerge as a plant or flower. It may seem dark while waiting for God to answer, but that does not mean God isn't working out the details in your life. Waiting sometimes can feel extremely lonely. It's a time and opportunity to lean close to your Heavenly Father. At these times it may even feel like God isn't hearing our cries, but keep waiting -keep hoping -keep trusting in His unfailing word. When you have too many tears and you feel like you're swirling in negative thoughts and emotions, remember the enemy wants to make you give up so you will forgo the promises that God has given to you. Don't let your temporary feelings cause you to give up on waiting on God. If you were sitting in a lobby or special designated room to meet the president or some other famous person that was your human hero, you would wait. Because you know that at any moment that person would come walking through the door. You would surely be anticipating and reaching out your hand to greet them. Your answer will come through that door. Just wait. Be strong in the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act.

A Woman Can Rebuild

Does it feel like everything around you, your life, your family, has fallen in disarray or totally apart? Emotionally, it's hard holding it together. You put a brave smile on your face, even though you can barely see through the blur of the thousands of tears you have cried, but you are tired of telling everyone out of politeness that you are "fine" or that "everything is alright" because you just don't want to sound like a negative broken record. Going to church or family functions is sometimes difficult, because it's a painful memory of what used to be. Memories of the love you had haunt you like a ghost. Your knees feel worn and sore from the prayers you have prayed in secret. The hinges on your prayer closet door just may even be squeaking because you have used it so much. You wonder if things are ever going to change, if he will change, if you're getting back together, or if this is the end of the dream of a whole family and marriage.  For the sake of love, you question that heart of yours -if it's is going to ever stop caring for the one who hurt you, rejected you, broke you, used you and maybe even abused you. You cry yourself to sleep at night, and the bed seems so lonely you can almost hear your tears -and it's crying too.....puddles on your pillow. It's been so dark for so long. You ask yourself, "How can I hang on any longer?"  Don't lose heart my friend, my sister in Christ, my hero in my eyes -because your pain is not in vain. God promises to make ALL things work together for good to those who are called according to His great purpose. (from Romans 8:28) Notice GREAT PURPOSE. This pain, this disappointment, this hurdle, this mountain, this flood, this fire, this difficult and tiresome season will come to an end for you. It's not permanent. No matter what happens, the tears will cease. God has not forsaken or abandoned you. He is right beside you, and He will take your brokenness, hurts, fears, disappointments and pains, and turn them into REAL STRENGTH, REAL BEAUTY, and MAKE YOU A NEW WOMAN. His word says, "...and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor." Isaiah 61:3. This painful time can be turned into beauty if you let Him. Trust Him in this process. He will help you, and what were your ashes, rubble, and heaps of junk, will become a monument to God's amazing goodness...a living testimony of His faithfulness, His grace, and His glory. Psalm 34:5 says, "Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." Written By Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives  Copyright 2012

There Is Always Hope

Do you feel you're losing hope? Are you tired? Do you feel you are hanging by a thread and it's about to break? Do you feel like you have been calling out and you hear nothing but silence to your hearts cries? God's word is true and everlasting. His word is faithful and true. Cling to the hope that you know. Faith, hope and love are all inertwined together -they are your rope to hang onto in times of struggle and pain. Jesus is on the other end of that rope you're holding onto. He is your anchor and He won't let go of you. When you are running low on hope, cry out to Jesus. He will give you more hope, just ask Him for it. Psalm 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Psalm 43:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 71:5 For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth. Psalm 119:114 You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Job 11:18 You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. There's always HOPE, my friend.

Poppa's Baby Girl By The Sea

I love the ocean. It's always a special place to me. I feel so little standing next to the massive sea. I sense God's power and beauty as I hear the waves crashing and lapping over my feet, enjoying the smell of the air and how clean it makes me feel. Truly God is everywhere, but I feel closest to Him at the beach. Sometimes I go here to find emotional healing and to clear my head of all the muck. There are no distractions, just His beauty and power. The aches of my heart have been many. Sometimes it feels this season will never end. I get strong some days, I think I'm finally better and then a memory or a song will send me crashing down like a sneaker wave. Great is His faithfulness! When I am overcome with grief -yet My Lord is with me and I make it through another piece of my broken vessel. There is purpose and a tangible plan that our Maker has when He is taking the pieces of our heart and fusing them back together. There is beauty even when there have been ashes. His love has so many levels -so deep, so vast, so wide, so mysteriously amazing. I can never fully comprehend His love. It's endless, just like the view of a horizon at sea -you see no end to it. Sometimes I feel so unworthy, so unlovable, so unvaluable, but they are lies, and just because I feel that way for the moment doesn't mean it's truth. What is constant? What is true? His love and mercy, grace and justice are as sure as the ocean tide coming in. I don't always see the end of this process. As I was walking on the wet sand and water was swirly around my ankles, I began to sink and I whispered, "I feel afraid, Poppa." He said to me so quietly, but so clearly: "You will not sink as long as you keep moving". I remember that day like a permanent fixture burned on my heart. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. I wrote all my cares and concerns of my heart on rocks with a sharpie pen and I prayed over each one of them and then I threw them into the sea. "Here, Poppa God. You can have it all."

Now Is The Time (A Spontaneous Song)

Now is the time

Time for rejoicing

Time for the sorrows and pain to fade away

All that is left is His radiant beauty

Shining down upon your face

All that was promised has come to pass

The tears that are falling

Are of gladness and joy

Now is the time

Now is the season

of nothing wanting or lacking

Time to be dancing

Twirling around in His favor and grace

Now is the time

the weight you were carrying

Has been lifted with His peace

Now is the time

to forget what is old

as now has come the new

Take off your garments of sadness

and wear new robes of Joy

You eat at the King's table

There is new wine and new oil

Your enemies are defeated

Those who spoke against you

now have to bless your name

Now is the time the season has changed

What was is no more

All that you have is new

and better than before

Now is the time

Time to sing a new song

Time to bless and give

to others and help them along the way

Time to be in the King's chamber

being close and dancing with Him

He kisses your forehead

and places a ring on your hand

You are His

Now is the time

for the golden rain to be falling

the season has changed

Rejoice and dance in it

It's falling-

the golden rain is falling

His grace and favor are falling

Soak it all in

Now is the time

the tears of sorrow and pain

are but a distant memory

What was against you

is now defeated

What was lost is now being found

What was stolen

is now being returned

better and paid double

The things held over you

Are now being cancelled

Your debts are cleared away

This is your time

this is your season

All that was promised has come your way

No Matter What

I woke up this morning feeling like the weather outside was trying to overtake me. I feel like I'm stuck in a misty fog and I can't see where I am going, and even worse, what I am doing -but I refuse to give up. These emotions of fear and unbelief, despair and confusion, just seem to be swirling about me. I feel like I'm blindfolded. But I say,"NO!" Even if I have to stand in this fog blindly, I refuse to budge in my stand for what I am believing in. My house, for D to get better, be healed and set free, and happy marriage. I may feel like a fool. I may seem stupid in the eyes of the enemy, but who cares anyway?
Psalm 23:5 says, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." I don't care. I say to my future, "My Lord is faithful. I declare and decree His faithfulness and goodness. Blessed be the name of the LORD!"
Psalm 33:4 "For the word of the LORD is right and true; He is faithful in all He does."

I refuse to cave in to the taunting of the enemy's lies that say, "You should give up, because it will never happen." I refuse to bow down to the fear and unbelief that keep trying to interfere with what Poppa God is doing. I may not see with my earthly eyes, physical touch,or emotional feelings that anything is changing, but His word is faithful and true. Deuteronomy 7:9 "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commandments."

I speak to the mountain in front of me, and praise my Father God even if I don't see it moving.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. I WILL BELIEVE. I WILL KEEP TRUSTING. Even if I feel blinded, cold, tired and afraid, I will trust in you, Lord. Even if nothing seems to be getting better, even if my circumstances seem so stubborn. Even if others around me don't have my faith or vision, it's okay. This is not their fight, It's mine. Mine and the Lord's. I will yet praise Him, my God and my King.
I STAND ON THE RUBBLE OF MY ENEMIES. I STAND ON THE PILE OF LIES, FEARS, TEARS, AND BROKENNESS. I stand in my faith, and I am strong and mighty in the Power of my Lord. Exodus 14:14 "The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”

One day this fog will lift, and I KNOW I will feel HIS grace and light shining upon my face again. There is a reward for those who diligently seek Him. There is a reward for those who are faithful. The sun is going to come up...I know it. His SON is shining on the horizon of these temporary circumstances. JOY is coming again. Until then I will keep on believing and keep on clinging to His Name and Word.