My Love Story

My love story is different than some...One day, the true love of my life walked out the door for the last time. It was one of the most painful and devastating times imaginable, but I knew I had to keep going, and it was only by the grace of God that I did. I started Ruby Wives Ministry, and it was growing by leaps and bounds. I had no idea that during my own heart shattering crisis, God would make something good come out of my ashes. My humbled and naive idea of helping other hurting women who were silently struggling in their marriages while dealing with separation or divorce, would turn into something bigger than I could ever plan. It was really stepping out onto the water for me, because I didn't even know how to make a Facebook page at the time. I was crying in a crumpled heap on my pile of laundry when I heard His almost audible voice whisper to my heart: "I want you to take these women with you on this journey."

Two and a half years later, thousands of women and even men have become faithful readers of our pages that offer simple prayers, wisdom, and encouragement for spouses. God allowed my brokenness and reflection of the mistakes I made as a wife to become wisdom gems to share with others. Through transparently shared struggles about my own journey of healing, our readers responded openly and thanked me because they could relate. My tears became their comfort, because they felt they were not alone. My surrendered weakness to God became my new-found strength as well as theirs, because they were dealing with similar circumstances. Then came the newly wed brides, the happily married wives...women of different circumstances and statuses, broken or abandoned...they all became fans. I realized that as I was learning and gleaning wisdom and sharing it with wives, a positive growth and change was happening. It was contagious. Praise God! It was all His beautiful plan unfolding before me. Letters poured in from around the world with reports of marriages being restored and women being encouraged. My heart has been so overabundantly blessed, and even though things haven't turned out the way I thought they would, or the way I wanted them to, God revealed to me that He has always had a plan, and that He knew what was best for me. He built a full time ministry out of my broken mess and ashes, and He built a new dream in me. Beauty had come.

One thing I have learned through this beautiful, crazy and amazing journey, is that we all have one thing in common: a broken heart is a broken heart. Pain is pain. Marriage troubles are the same everywhere, no matter who you are or where you are from. The internet is a way to reach women in all parts of the world. Barriers are broken by it. I have had countless pastors' wives who were hurting in silence because their spouse was having an affair, struggling with addictions, etc., write to me for advice and prayers. They felt safe reaching out for help online.

Through this process, I finally came to a certain place of healing and surrender in my heart, I saw that God had an even bigger plan, and that I was not to look backward anymore. I found that my love story isn't over, it's being rediscovered and revised by the One who created love in the first place. Thus, A Modern Day Ruth was born. God revealed that the "Ruth" of this generation is primarily the woman who has been abandoned, divorced because of circumstances beyond her control, or has experienced abuse and neglect. The Modern Day Ruth is a woman who has experienced a devastation or even spiritual and emotional "death." Her husband has died to her and the family, and has walked away.

We live in a society where if it isn't easy or if it needs fixing, we will just go get a "new one" and people end up discarded as if they're replaceable things. It's so sad. Our world would be a happier and better place if people valued and honored marriages and families. What's worse is that the very place where women like us should find refuge comfort and support -the church- often judges, condemns, and turns its head away from these women. Many times I, myself, have felt that the Christian family I thought would be there for me, looked at me like I was the woman with the scarlet letter, as though I was someone who slept around. I was surprised to find that this is the perception some people have of single moms. That was definitely not the case for me, and even if it was, what would Jesus do? He never condemned the woman at the well, nor did he throw a stone at the woman who supposedly was caught in the act of adultery. I see the story of the woman at the well as tragic. She must have had her heart severely broken several times. She must have been abandoned, rejected, lied to, used, and promised false forevers... I often wish I could go back in time and hug that woman in the Bible and tell her I love her and that she's going to be alright, but Jesus did it for me.

Now, as I walk this role of A Modern Day Ruth and as a leader of women, I continue to reach out to as many as possible, to remind each one that her love story doesn't just end in heartache and tears, and that her life isn't going to be just struggle and pain. I know she faces tear-stained pillow nights and wrestles with ongoing loneliness. She wakes up to difficult days of surviving while trying to take care of her children...the family her husband left behind. Though Ruth was a widow, she ended up having her season of heartache turn to a lifetime of joy, and the promise of a lasting legacy. I am many times reminded of the words that are engraved upon my heart, and I have clung to them often: Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Everyone has a love story. Sometimes that love story doesn't turn out the way you wish it would have. Maybe you're fighting for your love story right now to continue -fighting to keep your marriage alive, or your fairy tale dream may already have been shattered or ended in disappointment. Mine is that God took my messed up, abandoned, and broken heart and held me. He cradled me in the midst of my sheer agony and emotional turmoil. He didn't save my marriage, but He saved me. He gave me purpose and He took each piece of my heart and mended me, making me stronger and better than before. I have come to know that in Him I do have my happy ever after, and my love story with Him is still beautifully unfolding. Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2014

Ash Heap Turned To Beauty

You've been standing on a heap of ashes -your burned up dreams.

You have been waiting for beauty.

Waiting for beauty to come again.

You have called out every day -wondering if He even remembers your name.

Seasons come and seasons go, but somehow this one has been so long.

Is it ever going to change?

All those silent tears will turn to perfume; their fragrance will sweeten the air.

Forever it will embed a pretty memory of your laughter and smile; you've trampled your fears.

Those who call out His name will not be left in shame.

He sees the struggles. He sees the pain.

You've lost love. You've lost friends. You've lost happy. You've lost yourself within.

You have wondered -is this the end of it all?

Close your eyes, dear one. Imagine yourself free.

Flying high -even higher than the eagles, on a sweet summer breeze.

Above the pain. Above the heartache. Above the disappointment.

Above it all -above everything.

Beauty is going to come again, and those ashes of dreams will be blown away.

Those who look to the Lord and stand in faith -it will not be in vain.

He hears you when you call on His name.

Hold on, dear one, hold on. Beauty is going to come. It's going to come to you again.

Written by Jenny Williams Copyright 2013 Ruby Wives All Rights Reserved. Please feel free to share for encouragement purposes. God bless.

A Woman Can Rebuild

Does it feel like everything around you, your life, your family, has fallen in disarray or totally apart? Emotionally, it's hard holding it together. You put a brave smile on your face, even though you can barely see through the blur of the thousands of tears you have cried, but you are tired of telling everyone out of politeness that you are "fine" or that "everything is alright" because you just don't want to sound like a negative broken record. Going to church or family functions is sometimes difficult, because it's a painful memory of what used to be. Memories of the love you had haunt you like a ghost. Your knees feel worn and sore from the prayers you have prayed in secret. The hinges on your prayer closet door just may even be squeaking because you have used it so much. You wonder if things are ever going to change, if he will change, if you're getting back together, or if this is the end of the dream of a whole family and marriage.  For the sake of love, you question that heart of yours -if it's is going to ever stop caring for the one who hurt you, rejected you, broke you, used you and maybe even abused you. You cry yourself to sleep at night, and the bed seems so lonely you can almost hear your tears -and it's crying too.....puddles on your pillow. It's been so dark for so long. You ask yourself, "How can I hang on any longer?"  Don't lose heart my friend, my sister in Christ, my hero in my eyes -because your pain is not in vain. God promises to make ALL things work together for good to those who are called according to His great purpose. (from Romans 8:28) Notice GREAT PURPOSE. This pain, this disappointment, this hurdle, this mountain, this flood, this fire, this difficult and tiresome season will come to an end for you. It's not permanent. No matter what happens, the tears will cease. God has not forsaken or abandoned you. He is right beside you, and He will take your brokenness, hurts, fears, disappointments and pains, and turn them into REAL STRENGTH, REAL BEAUTY, and MAKE YOU A NEW WOMAN. His word says, "...and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor." Isaiah 61:3. This painful time can be turned into beauty if you let Him. Trust Him in this process. He will help you, and what were your ashes, rubble, and heaps of junk, will become a monument to God's amazing goodness...a living testimony of His faithfulness, His grace, and His glory. Psalm 34:5 says, "Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." Written By Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives  Copyright 2012