How To Make Your Home A Sanctuary

We as wives have the ability to set the tone and mood of our home. It is a God given privilege and honor that He has given us this ability. Have you ever noticed the saying, "If the wife ain't happy then no one is?" It's true, and it's up to us to create a sanctuary in our homes for our husbands and children. How do we do this?        

1. The number one thing is our attitude and our tongue. Our voices usually will reflect what our mood is. Speaking harshly, nagging, yelling, critical words -all of these can make a home feel like a war zone instead of a soft place to land. The Bible says, (Proverbs 21:9) "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Men especially cannot stand someone who nags or is repetitively complaining. It naturally turns on their signal jammer to tune you out, so you're really not winning when you nag. The best thing to do is to mention something once and then go to prayer about the issue, if you are not getting the response you desire of your husband. Also, Proverbs 15:1 says this: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." How we answer or how we respond with our mouths makes a difference.
2. Remove chaos and clutter. This is an area I always need to work on. Is your house messy and full of piles of stuff? Proverbs 31:27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." In today's translation that would mean housekeeping. Your house doesn't have to be spotless. I know with small children it can be very challenging, but are there stacks of things that need to be donated to the thrift store? If you don't use it on a regular basis then I suggest either storing it in the garage or donating it to a local charity. Men do NOT like to come home to a huge mess especially after working hard all day. Who does? If you feel uptight or anxious in your house, you may need to do some spring cleaning. Get the family involved and spruce things up. Your bedroom should be the best room of your house: peaceful and clean -a relaxing haven. Think of it as your "love" den. Ask your husband if he likes the bedroom? Listen to him if he complains that the bedspread has too many flowers or the walls are pink. The colors of your decor should be something you both like. 
3. What's the spiritual tone in the house? What do I mean by that? Are there children fighting and screaming, is everyone not getting along? When the tension is rising this is what you can do: light some candles. It creates a calming feel. Play some worship music. Start praying out loud and ask God to bring His sweet peace and love in your home. Believe me it works! You can actually see a difference with the kids and your own mood. When you know your husband has had a bad day, do this before he gets home. Sometimes I will leave christian music playing on in my home even when I'm out doing errands. It's a great thing to come home to. 
4. I know most women now work outside of the home these days, but if you can master this one thing, do it. When you greet your husband as he walks in the door or as you walk in the door, have a smile on your face and let him know you missed him. Also, Romans 16:16 says "Greet one another with a holy kiss." Plant a nice one on his lips when you leave or come home. Don't go into a full long paragraph of all the troubles or irritations of the day. Let him have a chance to relax and unwind. You can still share what's on your mind, but create a time of enjoying each each first. Husbands are more receptive if you approach things this way. It's how they are wired. Let him know often how much you appreciate that he works hard for the family and that he provides. Praise goes a long way. We all like to feel appreciated. These few things are simple and they can make your living environment nice. Keep your nest a safe and restful refuge. Written by Jenny Williams, Copyright 2011