Ruby Woman: Join me on the journey of healing and hope -even in the midst of heartache, brokenness and betrayal. You are worth infinitely more than all the diamonds and rubies in the entire world, don't you EVER doubt that!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Beauty From Brokenness
We are almost half way through the 90 Day Challenge, and still women are joining. Praise God for His awesomeness in our lives. My week was very meaningful, fitful, moving, and even beautiful. A lot happened this week for me and, I believe, for you as well. Thank you so much for your prayers for my healing. Some even fasted for me- God bless you richly for that. There are not enough words to express my love and gratitude for you. I am on the way to being healed. He is healing me -it's a beautiful process. I know He is making a way even when there seemed to be no way. One thing pivotal for me- a huge eye opener to my heart- I was asked, "Have you forgiven yourself?" Wow. That stopped me in my tracks. "Why, no, I haven't." I said a prayer and got healed by letting go of the mistakes and unwise decisions I have made in the past -especially in the area of choosing to love men who won't love me back. My Dad wasn't around much growing up. Some of you know my story of being abandoned by two husbands- The last one broke my heart the most, because I can honestly say l love him the most. Heartache has been a painful journey, but God has been using it for good and has made me more beautiful because of it. I look at people differently. I know how to love unconditionally. To see others through Christ's eyes. I learned that a heart wanting to be loved is what we all crave. I learned you can't make someone love you. You can't make them stay, you can't make them keep their word or make them change. They have to choose themselves if they are going to love, stay, forgive, or walk away.
I overcame something this week. I stopped chasing after affection. I gave up on man and realized it's pointless to try to get love from someone. One thing about passionately pursuing Jesus is that He pursues us too. He doesn't reject our love and He doesn't abandon. He loves us regardless.
I noticed a lot of physical changes. My skin is just as smooth as butter- super silky!!! I tried on old clothes and they fit better and look better. I have to say I think my favorite body part right now would be my butt :) It's looking cute. I'm almost laughing at that, but it's true. My skin is golden from the tanning I have done- This is my reward for working out at the gym. I started taking ROYAL JELLY 2-3 times a day. It has been giving me a boost. You are what you eat- so I must be royalty :).
My hunger has changed, and I don't just mean food. I'm into the Word more. I'm hungrier for spending time in His presence. Good changes...You can never get too much of GOD. :) I have been pushing my workouts more. It's good.