Thursday, June 16, 2011
It's normal for us as women to desire love and affection from our husbands. It's built into us. We feel loved and secure when we're held and told words of love and devotion.
Song of Solomon 2:6 says," His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me." Soloman had it right...
But, oh, can it hurt. It hurts when we don't receive this on a regular basis. We begin to question ourselves and even put our worth on what we receive (or don't receive) from our husband. The ache, the loneliness, the frustration, the laying in bed late at night, a cold shoulder turned toward the opposite side of the bed. Maybe the pillow next to us is completely empty. Either way, the pain is deep. "What's wrong with me? Am I beautiful? Am I attractive? Am I not a good lover? Why won't he hold me?" These questions haunt us at night, and echo in our minds. We analyze everything: "Maybe I should lose weight. Do I need a makeover? What's better about the other woman? Is there another woman? If only...."
I sometimes think that some husbands think that once they catch you, the thrill of the hunt is over, and they get bored or lazy and think they don't need to woo their wives with love anymore. So sad, but so true much of the time. Often, if they do give attention it's only for sex and not for affection -at least the wife can feel this way much of the time, thus begins the building of resentments and hurts. The walls go up. "I'm only an object." or, "I'm just nothing at all." These are thoughts I know I've struggled with at times myself. I know these are the same thoughts and feelings that many women feel, and usually we feel we are alone in this. Who can we talk to about it with? Oh, to be held, to be loved and embraced, to have words of love whispered in our ears. Instead, tears fall silently on the pillow, and desires go unheard.
This pain is very real and can go on for some time. We can't make our husbands love us, but we can remember that our souls are not satisfied by a man's love, but by the love of our Heavenly Father. Some of us do receive affectionate love from our spouses, but because of past hurts and wounds we feel like a bottomless pit -there never seems to be enough love to fill the void. We must remember our fountains are filled completely and wholly by our Lord. He is the living water that quenches our thirst. He is our fountain -the one that never runs dry. His love is always available to us and His love and affections for us never run out.
Psalm 87:7 "As they make music they will sing, “All my fountains are in you.”