Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Simply Me...

I am:
Silly, funny, loving, quirky, sweet and passionate

I want:
To make a positive difference in people's lives. To love and be loved. To live out the potential God has for me.

I have:
The best friends, the most incredible family, and a God who never fails.

I wish:
I didn't have to go through this season in my life. Single life is hard.

I hate:
I strongly dislike judgmental people, disappointing someone, selfishness, seeing children abused or neglected, and when men only desire a woman for her body.

I fear:
not being able to accomplish what I was meant to do, or being rejected again.

I hear:
The sound of country music...it's in my blood, my heart and soul- I must be a true southern in the way I'm wired..lol.

I search:
For the answers to my "whys", but know I won't get them.

I wonder:
If God really has a plan for me and my kids in all this, about the "what ifs", and if I will ever be loved again.

I regret:
I choose to not regret...but learn from life's lessons of this journey I'm on.

I love:
My beautiful kids, my true friends, my family and my Lord and Savior- Jesus.

I ache:
To be held...to be comforted. I ache for this pain to go away. I ache for brighter days. I ache to be loved forever with a pure love. To be a wife, lover, companion, a soul mate.

I always:
Choose GOD. I may mess up, I may stumble, I may get lost sometimes, I'll never be perfect, but I always belong to God....my Poppa :)

I usually:
Notice the little things: sights, smells, sounds, textures. I experience everything.

I am not:
I may be feeling lonely and hurt right now, but I'm not destroyed, and I will be stronger and better than before. I'll take this pain and use it for good for someone else down the road.

I Sing:
In the shower, to my Heavenly Father -Poppa, the ones I love, in the car silly and not in tune..lol.

I dance:
In the rain, when snowflakes are falling, and in my living room with my babies.

I never:
Want to hurt again like this.

I rarely:
Refuse to help someone who is hurting or needs encouragement.

I cry:
silent tears...especially at night. It's a lonely road right now. I never thought a human could cry so many tears.

I am not always:
Going to hurt like this. It will get better, right? 

I lose:
My self confidence when I place it in other people's hands; never again. I discovered something in all this. I like myself -I love myself. I like who I am: my quirky personality and my curvy body, I like me the way I am. If I ain't good enough for a man, then too bad for him.

I'm confused:
As to why someone doesn't love me anymore.

I need:
To keep moving, keep living, keep loving, and keep trusting Poppa. I can do this.

I should:
Be thankful for every blessing, every prayer, every blissful moment...because in a moment it can all be lost or taken away.

I dream:
Of seeing my dreams fulfilled, a diamond transformed from my brokenness, a bright sunny day on a beach saying vows that last forever to the one who will love me in return.

By Jenny Williams. Copyright 2010

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