Keep moving forward

This week was a tough one. I swear the world was falling off it's rocker. Everyone around me seemed to be fighting...friendships dropping like flies. One thing I have learned from my divorce and my husband leaving: Don't ever take anyone for granted. Don't assume someone you love will always be there, because you just never know. I never dreamed he would walk out the door, but I have accepted it -that he just wants something different for his life. He has the acting bug and he is happier when he's doing what he loves.

What makes me happy? It really is just little things -like the sky last night, pink sunset streaks through the clouds, the smell of the ground after a rain, a warm conversation with a girlfriend or anyone, or roses that get sent to the house unexpectedly...oh, I so needed that after a bad day (actually bad week...lol). I really appreciate friendships and keep hoping for someone to love in every way again. Patience...I wish God didn't think I needed any...

Maybe God's working on someone's life...preparing him for me. I know he works on mine. sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. I either have guys who will throw out "I love you" like its candy, or it's "I'm not worthy of you" -go figure. Isn't there anyone who can really know what love is?

Well, the sunshine is out and I finally got sleep -real sleep, and maybe that's just what I needed after a week of tears and frustrations. It's a new day. Just keep moving forward. By Jenny Williams. Copyright 2010.

Simply Me...

I am:
Silly, funny, loving, quirky, sweet and passionate

I want:
To make a positive difference in people's lives. To love and be loved. To live out the potential God has for me.

I have:
The best friends, the most incredible family, and a God who never fails.

I wish:
I didn't have to go through this season in my life. Single life is hard.

I hate:
I strongly dislike judgmental people, disappointing someone, selfishness, seeing children abused or neglected, and when men only desire a woman for her body.

I fear:
not being able to accomplish what I was meant to do, or being rejected again.

I hear:
The sound of country music...it's in my blood, my heart and soul- I must be a true southern in the way I'm wired..lol.

I search:
For the answers to my "whys", but know I won't get them.

I wonder:
If God really has a plan for me and my kids in all this, about the "what ifs", and if I will ever be loved again.

I regret:
I choose to not regret...but learn from life's lessons of this journey I'm on.

I love:
My beautiful kids, my true friends, my family and my Lord and Savior- Jesus.

I ache:
To be held...to be comforted. I ache for this pain to go away. I ache for brighter days. I ache to be loved forever with a pure love. To be a wife, lover, companion, a soul mate.

I always:
Choose GOD. I may mess up, I may stumble, I may get lost sometimes, I'll never be perfect, but I always belong to God....my Poppa :)

I usually:
Notice the little things: sights, smells, sounds, textures. I experience everything.

I am not:
I may be feeling lonely and hurt right now, but I'm not destroyed, and I will be stronger and better than before. I'll take this pain and use it for good for someone else down the road.

I Sing:
In the shower, to my Heavenly Father -Poppa, the ones I love, in the car silly and not in tune..lol.

I dance:
In the rain, when snowflakes are falling, and in my living room with my babies.

I never:
Want to hurt again like this.

I rarely:
Refuse to help someone who is hurting or needs encouragement.

I cry:
silent tears...especially at night. It's a lonely road right now. I never thought a human could cry so many tears.

I am not always:
Going to hurt like this. It will get better, right? 

I lose:
My self confidence when I place it in other people's hands; never again. I discovered something in all this. I like myself -I love myself. I like who I am: my quirky personality and my curvy body, I like me the way I am. If I ain't good enough for a man, then too bad for him.

I'm confused:
As to why someone doesn't love me anymore.

I need:
To keep moving, keep living, keep loving, and keep trusting Poppa. I can do this.

I should:
Be thankful for every blessing, every prayer, every blissful moment...because in a moment it can all be lost or taken away.

I dream:
Of seeing my dreams fulfilled, a diamond transformed from my brokenness, a bright sunny day on a beach saying vows that last forever to the one who will love me in return.

By Jenny Williams. Copyright 2010