Key To A Man's Heart

Wives, one thing Poppa God has been speaking to me about as a solution for some women, is learning how to find the key to a man's heart -specifically your man. Many husbands, for various reasons, have shut the doors of their hearts toward their wives and locked them. They feel they have been dishonored or disrespected. Their pride has been hurt, and their fear of failure has been amplified because their wives have lost sight of how to show their love and respect in a Godly way. Having access to your husband's heart again can open opportunities for healing in your marriage if it's strained. Prayer is important, always continue to pray. This will bring the kind of wisdom that will reveal a solution. James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."  Be careful. It's possible to pray and pray until you are blue in the face, but get nowhere in repairing your marriage. First, do some reflection and think about your actions. Try and remember the tone or words you have used when speaking with your husband. Think about if you, out of frustration or anger, have dishonored or disrespected him. How do you make your husband feel in your presence? Do ridicule him, belittle him, or criticize his efforts? Do you nag and complain about your home, money, car, or any other thing your husband has worked for to provide you and your children with? Have you talked dirt about him behind his back? Have you made remarks such as "You always do this!", or "You never do that!" Have you publicly made jokes about your husband in front of others? Even if your husband laughed it off, it may have hurt him deeper than you realized. These things tear husbands down. Men were created to feel honored and respected. This is how God made them. A man who feels undervalued, unappreciated, and degraded will look for validation elsewhere if you, as a wife, have not provided this for him. What may seem like little comments, valid complaints, etc., may have gotten him to build that wall around his heart, brick by brick. The injury of a man's pride is really his manhood being stripped away. Over time, these things can cause his heart to be hardened, and his walls to go up. A husband will grow tired of feeling low about himself as a man. When a man feels emotionally connected with a woman, he will desire to be near her and to stay by her side. This is why a man will sometimes go after another woman and have an affair, because she knows how to touch his heart emotionally and she makes him feel good about himself. It's not always about sex, or that the other woman is prettier than you -it's how she makes him feel, but there are always solutions to life's problems. Simply put, YOU need the key to HIS heart! As Dr. Mike Murdock states:  "Men desire to have a 'nest' with no thorns." As wives, we should create our homes to be a safe refuge from the "thorns" of life.   Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." In other words, your words and your actions have a large part in creating the environment of your home and marriage. I share this not to place blame, or to help make excuses as to why a husband has walked away. I know that you most likely feel that you have valid reasons for the actions, reactions, and words you may have said to him at times -he may have disappointed you or hurt your feelings too, but it takes two to build a healthy marriage, and you knowing your role as a wife will help. If you can walk in wisdom and apply God's principles of how to show honor and respect, it can help immensely. I must say, search your heart and ask God if this might be something you have unknowingly done. Please know that I share from experience and my own personal failures. I encourage wives to ask the Lord to help tear down the walls that have been built, and begin learning to build up your husbands with new found honor and respect. Find the key to his heart so YOU can unlock the door. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved Please feel free to share for encouragement purposes only. God bless.
(Quoted scriptures are from the NIV Bible Translation.)

Encouragement For Husbands

Husbands, have you lost the art of romancing your wife? Has it been a while since you've experienced passion in your relationship? Is it cold...like a fridge...in the bedroom? Does your wife turn you down intimately? Women were created and wired to be cherished and feel secure in their relationship with their husbands. Do you cherish her? She needs to feel this from you. When she does, she responds to your sexual needs, because she will feel emotionally connected to you. Sex starts outside of the bedroom for a woman. Let me repeat that one... sex starts outside of the bedroom for a woman! She needs to feel valued, and not as a sexual object or conquest. She needs to feel she is beautiful to you. She needs to be touched and caressed outside of the bedroom. She needs to be wined and dined. Do you make the effort to continue to court her (date her) even after the wedding day?  This is a forever thing that husbands need to do for their wives. Ephesians 5:28 "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Have you given her a special gift just for the sake of making her smile? Have you danced with her in the living room? Reflect on this: what did you do to win her heart before you were married? A wise man knows that the responsibility of a husband is to romance her every day. This is "cherishing" her. She needs to know she is your prize that you love. She needs to know that you value her. Some guys have a hard time being romantic, but there are always ideas in books, on the internet, etc. If you have neglected this area in your marriage, ask God for wisdom on how to warm your wife's heart again. Ask Him to give you the key to her heart. Wisdom is available for you. Start romancing her with little unexpected things. Show her your love. Woo her heart again. Don't bring up the past, just make the future better. It's the little things a man does that capture a woman's heart. God has the solutions. Read the book "Song of Solomon" in the Bible. It's a blueprint for romance. God made women with a need to feel cherished and romanced. If you haven't told her she's beautiful in a while, tell her again -and again. If she comes back with a nasty comment or remark, ignore it. Somehow along the way her heart was injured and her walls went up. Most likely because she felt undervalued and that she was no longer cherished, but there is hope. Be gently persistent, because she may no longer be used to being romanced by you. If you keep finding creative ways to encourage her with your acts of kindness and love, she will melt for you again. Song of Solomon 1:2-3 "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out." Praying for you, men. Written by Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives, Copyright 2012. All rights reserved. Please enjoy and feel free to share for encouragement purposes only. Scriptures are from NIV Bible translation.

A Love Letter to All Brides

To the Bride who doesn't feel loved anymore...to the Bride who feels lost and alone in her marriage...to the Bride who feels like she is holding her family together alone...to the Bride who has been betrayed by the one she loves...to the Bride who has received the ultimate betrayal: being traded for another woman...to the Bride who soaks her pillow with tears every night...to the Bride who keeps a brave smile on her face even though every day is a struggle to get through...to the Bride who feels she can't ask for help because she feels embarrassment and shame...to the Bride who wonders, "What's wrong with me and why doesn't he love me anymore? What did I do wrong?"...to the Bride who feels her fairy tale dreams have been shredded to pieces along with her heart...to the Bride who has been lied to, cheated on, used, or abused...to the Bride who feels like she is competing with her husband's addictions: alcohol, drugs, pornography, or gambling -and waits to be loved more than these things...to the Bride who has tried everything to fix her marriage and feels tired and weary...to the Bride who receives no love or affection from the man who promised to be her lover, friend, protector, and provider...to the Bride who feels uncherished, unvalued, or unromanced...to the Bride who is facing unwanted divorce or separation from the love of her life...to the Bride who has been verbally abused with cruel words spoken so harshly, she feels like she can't escape from the pain of the words that have become thorns in her heart...to the Bride who worries about how to pay the bills or put food on the table for her children...to the Bride who struggles daily with physical pain and illness but still tries to make the best of it...to the Bride whose husband has had to leave her to serve his country, and she doesn't know if her soldier is ever coming back...to the Bride who doesn't feel good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, sexy enough, or strong enough -the answer is really so simple, beloved. A beautiful Bride you will always be to Jesus, and He wants you to know this: He understands your pain, your struggles, and your tears. He has been broken and betrayed by those He loved. He was beaten, abused, forgotten, and ridiculed. He knows, and He wants to hold you and carefully, gently heal your wounded heart. He loves you not based on what you do or don't do, He sees you as His beautiful, stain-free, spotless bride. He loves you...always. He won't leave you or abandon you. He will wipe your tear stained face, and He will not forget. "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book" Psalms 56:8. You are treasured in His heart and He sees you as the "Apple of His Eye". He celebrates you, He adores you, He cares for you, and He will be there for you. Let Him hold you when no one else will. Beloved, you are His Bride for eternity. These present circumstances will fade away, but His love for you will remain the same. "For I know the plans I have for  you." says the Lord, "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope ." Jeremiah 29:11. Written By Jenny Williams, Ruby Wives Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved. Please feel free to share for encouragement purposes only. God bless.

This is My Prayer For You