Changes: Week 3 (90 Day Challenge of Transformation)

I won't lie, this third week was hard. It took me all week to even write it- forgive me...

...but I did see changes in my character, and also my body. I went and tried clothes on and was gleefully delighted as they glided on easily. I fought frustration and physical pain, because the weather hasn't been favorable to me. Also my ministry was attacked. Blahh is how I felt some of this past week, but I came through the tests with grace and I feel there is growth, Praise God! I have learned that you just have to keep moving forward, even if it feels like there aren't any results. A couple of days do matter when eating healthy and exercising. I love my friends in the challenge and family who have supported me. This whole experience has been VERY challenging. I am not one who usually is naturally disciplined so for me to lead a group of ladies on this 90 day expedition has been humbling and has caused me to learn to follow through. Some of the gals didn't like a picture I posted of a woman who was smiling with her flaws showing. I felt it was healing, so I just pushed aside my desire to people please, and did what I felt was right. Wow, It was huge for me!!!! I will not always please man, but I must strive to Please GOD. That is what matters and He smiles and approves, not because I deserve it, but because He is LOVE and GRACE. I am getting thinner and my skin is looking fabulous, but inside I'm getting stronger too. I am His daughter and He loves me. Knowing this and walking in this daily is my desire. A Queen knows her place and her authority as she submits to Christ her KING. We are truly becoming a queen after the heart of our King.

Poppa's Baby Girl By The Sea

I love the ocean. It's always a special place to me. I feel so little standing next to the massive sea. I sense God's power and beauty as I hear the waves crashing and lapping over my feet, enjoying the smell of the air and how clean it makes me feel. Truly God is everywhere, but I feel closest to Him at the beach. Sometimes I go here to find emotional healing and to clear my head of all the muck. There are no distractions, just His beauty and power. The aches of my heart have been many. Sometimes it feels this season will never end. I get strong some days, I think I'm finally better and then a memory or a song will send me crashing down like a sneaker wave. Great is His faithfulness! When I am overcome with grief -yet My Lord is with me and I make it through another piece of my broken vessel. There is purpose and a tangible plan that our Maker has when He is taking the pieces of our heart and fusing them back together. There is beauty even when there have been ashes. His love has so many levels -so deep, so vast, so wide, so mysteriously amazing. I can never fully comprehend His love. It's endless, just like the view of a horizon at sea -you see no end to it. Sometimes I feel so unworthy, so unlovable, so unvaluable, but they are lies, and just because I feel that way for the moment doesn't mean it's truth. What is constant? What is true? His love and mercy, grace and justice are as sure as the ocean tide coming in. I don't always see the end of this process. As I was walking on the wet sand and water was swirly around my ankles, I began to sink and I whispered, "I feel afraid, Poppa." He said to me so quietly, but so clearly: "You will not sink as long as you keep moving". I remember that day like a permanent fixture burned on my heart. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. I wrote all my cares and concerns of my heart on rocks with a sharpie pen and I prayed over each one of them and then I threw them into the sea. "Here, Poppa God. You can have it all."